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CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Dream Interpretation
Satisfied Customers: 570
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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My friend dreamt a friend of hers who died a couple of years

Customer Question

My friend dreamt a friend of hers who died a couple of years ago in a fire, sat on her bed a couple of weeks ago, and then started choking her, she woke up, and there was a scratch mark on her neck, what does this dream mean?
JA: Oh I love this topic. Did you know I used to be a dream interpretation expert? Yes, but now I have to hand you off to one of the new and better trained ones. You will undoubtedly enjoy this. Is there anything else important you think the Dream Analyst should know?
Customer: No just the meaning of that dream thank you
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Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Dream Interpretation
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 3 months ago.

Hi, Im Jules. Hopefully I can help you with your dream interpretation. If you don't mind, I would like to ask you a couple of questions prior to going forward. Can you provide any additional information about occurrences in your friend's life at this time and how she has been processing or dealing with this loss? I think her grief is a great role in the interpretation of this dream.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
She's starting a new job, n still seeing her boyfriend but he puts mom first over her.
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 3 months ago.

I would like to share some information that has been suggested in dream information. I think it is important to know these facts when interpreting dreams, but also just interesting tidbits...."Some researchers believe that dreams help you to tackle stress. Dreaming is a necessity and helps to recharge the mind and revitalize the body. In dreams, negative emotions tend to occur twice as often as pleasant feelings. Fear and anxiety are the most commonly expressed emotions in dreams, followed by anger and sadness." In your dream you experience different emotions: "afraid", then "safe, at peace, happy, and calm." I tend to like the approach taken by Carl Jung. His research suggests that "Since dreams are a way of communicating with the unconscious, Jung believed that dream images reveal something about yourself, your relationships with others, and situations in your waking life. Dreams guide your personal growth and help in achieving your full potential. Jung also believes that the dream's manifest content is just as significant and revealing as the latent content. By simply discussing what is currently going on in your life, it can help you interpret and unlock the cryptic images of your dreams. Jung's method of dream interpretation is placed more confidently on the dreamer. He believes that you all possess the necessary tools to interpret your own dreams. There is no one correct way to interpret a dream. The meaning of your dreams is a personal judgment and is up to you on how to interpret them. Whatever interpretation feels right to you is most significant and more important than what someone else thinks or believes."Jung views the ego as your sense of self and how you portray yourself to the world. Part of Jung's theory is that all things can be viewed as paired opposites: good/evil, male/female, or love/hate. So working in opposition to the ego, is the "counterego" or what he refers to as the shadow. The shadow represents the rejected aspects of yourself that you do not wish to acknowledge. The shadow is more primitive, somewhat uncultured, and a little awkward. I believe in your dream you are processing aspects of yourself called the persona and the shadow. Here is a definition of each:

"The Persona is the image you present to the world in your waking life. It is your public mask. In the dream world, the persona is represented by the Self. The Self may or may not resemble you physically or may or may not behave as your would. For example, the persona can appear as a scarecrow or a beggar in your dream. However, you still know that this "person" in your dream is you.

The Shadow is the rejected and repressed aspects of yourself. It is the part of yourself that you do not want the world to see because it is ugly or unappealing. It symbolizes weakness, fear, or anger. In dreams, this figure is represented by a stalker, murderer, a bully, or pursuer. It can be a frightening figure or even a close friend or relative. Their appearance often makes you angry or leaves you scared. They force you to confront things that you don't want to see or hear. You must learn to accept the shadow aspect of yourself for its messages are often for your own good, even though it may not be immediately apparent."


So, from this perspective, there is a possibility that she is reflecting her feelings of being denied an aspect of expression in her dream. Being choked or strangled can indicate this. She is possibly repressing her desires to speak openly to her partner about her needs. She may not be able to cry out for help or communicate as effectively to him what she most desires-- to be a priority in his life, to feel that he validates her feelings, or that he considers her equally. She is processing new transitions and changes in her career which increases anxiety as well. She may be at a place where all of the changes lead her to process what is consistent or will remain a constant for her. She may be processing this through the friend's presence because her relationship with this friend, like she "loved or trusted her, or wanted to be there for her" may be similar feelings that she has about her current mate. Sometimes people appear in our dreams, but the presence of them is more about our emotional attachment to them.

She may have actually had more of a lucid dream where she was "acting out" the dream and grabbed her own neck in her sleep in an attempt to decrease the harm that the person was causing. It could be symbolic of her desire to stop feeling suffocated or invalidated in her waking life.

I hope that is helpful and that you will feel satisfied with the answer. I look forward to your feedback :)

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 3 months ago.

I just wanted to check back in with you and make sure that you have felt satisfied with the answer. If you need further support, please let me know :) Otherwise, if you have felt supported, would you please mind to take a moment and provide a rating, as this is the only manner in which experts receive credit spent providing an answer. Best wishes and thank you, Jules

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