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Dream Symbolist
Dream Symbolist, Dream Expert
Category: Dream Interpretation
Satisfied Customers: 658
Experience:  14 yrs. exp. Spiritual Consult. Jr Midwife. Dream Expert
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Dee. I'm very confused about a recent dream about my

Customer Question

Customer: Dee. I'm very confused about a recent dream about my deceased husband being angry at me
JA: Thanks. Can you give me any more details about your issue?
Customer: My husband died on my bday in December. We argued the morning of my birthday before he went to work. When he got off work he came home gave me a bday card, I thanked him and went to run errands. When I returned I found him lying on the bathroom floor dead.
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Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Dream Interpretation
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Its been past 10minutes and I still haven't received a reply.....not happy
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 11 months ago.

Dream interpretation usually takes much more than 10 minutes. I don't know who was acting like they were going to be able to interpret your dream. Since I've worked with dozens of dreams about deceased loved-ones, especially husbands, I'd like to work on your dream with you.

Your dream probably is focused on the unfinished business of your argument on the morning of his death. Dreams are usually surprising in some ways, especially because if we pay good attention to every detail in the dream it will point us towards some new understanding of our situation that we could not have had without the creative drama that is the dream. So it is important that you write down as much detail as you can remember of the dream. Like, where were you and your husband in the dream? How did he show his anger toward you? and were you showing anger towards him too? Were there any words of gestures in that scene? Were there any scenes before or after the one with anger? How was the anger scene in your dream DIFFERENT from the argument you were having before your husband went to work that morning?

What did you do, or want to do in the dream? How did you feel when you woke up? What was/were the most surprising-or-shocking moment(s) in the dream?

It would be normal for me to guess that you could feel guilty that you hadn't resolved your argument, or exchanged words or gestures of forgiveness & reconciliation before his unexpected death. But I don't want to assume anything until I know as much as possible about what you saw, heart, thought, and felt in the dream itself, and how that compares to what you've thought and felt in your waking life. For it is partially the symbolism of the dream (which can be surprisingly unrealistic) and partially the differences between the dream reality and your waking reality about your husband, yourself and your relationship that may offer us keys to insight from a higher source that could provide great help for your process of grief that has just begun. For the Higher Source that composes and directs our dreams doesn't just show us what we already know, but also points to new information to help us move forward. Dreams are exceptionally supportive during grieving, even if they don't seem so on the surface.

So please answer as many of my questions as you're willing to, and add anything else that comes to mind. I don't limit the time I'll spend working on a dream--especially when it could provide both comfort and encouragement to a woman in your circumstances for the road forward from here.

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Like, where were you and your husband in the dream? My husband and I were in the back yard.
How did he show his anger toward you? He picked up dog poop (which I nagged at him about all the time) and told me I wasn't shit and threw it at me! and were you showing anger towards him too? I threw it back at him and told him he wasn't shit. Were there any words of gestures in that scene? That was it! he went away. Were there any scenes before or after the one with anger? yes, however the scenes were very vague. How was the anger scene in your dream DIFFERENT from the argument you were having before your husband went to work that morning? The morning he left for work he was very tired and made the mistake of taking his medication and mistakenly drinking out of a water bottle that my Phlegm in it. I know it sounds disgusting but I refuse to hold anything inside. I have very bad sinus and often times I have tissue or a water bottle on MY side of the night stand for MY consumption. Nonetheless, he became FURIOUS and blamed me for not looking inside the bottle before tilting it to his head. He called me names and was very disrespectful. I got in his face and threw a piece of paper at him, he told me that would be the last time I would ever throw anything at him again. I thought about our argument and felt extremely bad so I sent him a text message around 11:00a.m and told him I didn't want to argue anymore. He never texted me back. He came home from work around 5ish, the dog was happy and so was I. He immediately started playing with the dog and putting Christmas decorations up and lighting up items in the front yard. He gave me my Birthday card, I thanked him for my beautiful card and told him I was going to run a couple errands for the party he was giving me on Saturday. I got home around 10:15p.m...and found him lying on the bathroom floor dead.My husband and I were together 12 years and married shy of 3 months. He had a pacemaker put in at the age of 50y/o, he was 51y/o when he passed. He was agitated with the various medications, Physician's and his daughter's wayward lifestyle (who are all over the age of 18y/o) . I don't have any children. We had our share of ups and downs, mostly downs for the past 3 months.What did you do, or want to do in the dream? How did you feel when you woke up? What was/were the most surprising-or-shocking moment(s) in the dream?
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
I wanted to apologize to him and tell him that I Love him. I woke up feeling confused, because I had been praying to God that he Rest in Peace. The most shocking moment of the dream was when he threw the feces on me.
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 11 months ago.

Thank you for your responses so far. I'm just too tired myself (I'm 73 and it's 2:20am) to think thru what you've written in response to my questions so far.

You said the other scenes were too vague--but even a vague feeling or a setting or the weather, any scene before or after the dogshit scene could suggest directions for potential meanings.

It's surprising to me that you seem to be dating your relationship DOWNS from the beginning of your legal marriage, after 12 years of (presumably) cohabitation. I have had both cohabitations without marriage and a cohabitation prior to my only marriage myself, so I am interested in your thoughts about what changed in your intimacy when you got married.

I'm also curious about what it meant to you and to him to say "you aren't shit" while throwing dogshit at each other? (Does it mean "you aren't WORTH shit?" or something else?)

One step in dream work is to apply some of it to an action in waking life; and I intend to get to that when I have gained enough understanding of your inner imagery and the message from your unconscious to know what to suggest.

Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 11 months ago.

I imagine that the back yard as a setting for the feces fight represents the arena where he (and perhaps you too) play with the dog. So it might contribute to what feels to me like a PLAYFUL aspect of your dream-fight. Does that feel right to you, or NOT?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
No, it wasnt a playful atmosphere for us. I played with the dog independently.
Since its so late, how about we revisit this conversation at a later date and time ...perhaps the correspondence be via telephone.
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 10 months ago.

I want to know what you would feel/mean when you heard and then said "You aren't shit" with him in real life, and how that compares with what that moment felt/meant in your dream. (NOT because I'm sure that's a key phrase in the meaning, but because it does occur right at/after the most shocking moment, which is therefore likely to be SOME of the NEW NEWS in your dream--like some of the shocking improvised moments out of Donald Trump's mouth, that are spontaneous readings of the collective unconscious of "average white folk"--including "average Brits" (as seen on TV) and possibly average French and Germans too.

For my method of dream interpretation is informed by both a moderate vocabulary of collective dream symbolism (and a large handful of book-collections of that) and an evidence-based approach to dreams as "spontaneous artworks" involving some of the same psychodynamic methods as "yellow journalism" to catch their audience (of one)'s attention.

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