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I have not had any dreams about cockroaches since I came to

 
Dr Fee's Avatar
  • Answered by:Dr Fee
  • Psychologist
  • Positive Feedback: 94.7 %
  • Accepted Answers: 65
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in Dream Interpretation

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Perfect.. caught me right before going to bed. Thanks.

Customer Question

I have not had any dreams about cockroaches since I came to the U.S. 20 years ago. My stomach turns when I see cockroaches, they are dirty, scary, and threatening to me; and I hated it when my mom smashed them, their insides are so gross and gooey white. But last night I dreamt of cockroaches two times bigger then those I have dreamt when I was still in Hong Kong. Not only that, they are not in the street and they don't look like real cockroaches!!!
There was one hanging under the edge of my bed, it is double the size of the real cockroaches I dreamt in Hong Kong. This cockroach even had its wings dressed up with colorful patterns, trying to look unassuming and impressive, yet I can see its ugly, smelly legs and belly, I screamed, and my husband came and chased and killed it even though I scream for him not to smash its guts, but my husband showed me that this cockroaches guts bled a lot of blood, and no creXXXXX XXXXX stuffs came out.
Then suddenly to my horror, I was sitting next to my husband's elder sister-in-law, her husband is my husbands elder brother; I hurriedly looked the other way because I realized that I have forgotten to never see her and my husbands older brother forever for the rest of my life -- most probably not even his & her funeral. And I looked away to pretend I did not see or hear their chatter so as to protect myself. And all of a sudden, I was back in my bedroom, and another not so dressed-up, smaller but still big cockroach was running underneath my bed, and I screamed, and my husband went and killed it. and I woke up. It was 9:30 a.m.

 



Already Tried:
I wanted my dream interpreted. Most of your site do not really cater to what a real person wants. What do you mean by "What have you tried so far?"" when I was only trying to get my dream interpreted. And since yesterday I was waiting for the interpretation to find that Dr. Rosid is offline.

Submitted: 287 days and 17 hours ago.
Category: Dream Interpretation
Value: $16
Status: CLOSED
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Expert:  Dr Fee replied 287 days and 15 hours ago.

Hello and welcome! Please understand that this site covers a lot of topics, so while the "already tried" is very applicable for some topics, but true, it's not really applicable for Dream Interpretation.

I think I can help you with your dream. Please keep in mind that everything in our dream is a symbol representing something our unconscious mind is trying to work out via the dream --either a current conflict or past unresolved issue. While there's some common meaning to some symbols, the personal meaning for to you is most important. Your emotion during the dream is a key element as to how to interpret the dream.

Given that you think that coachroaches are dirty and disgusting (and many of us agree with you!), in the dream it might represent a problem or conflict that you find extremely distasteful, repulsive, or just would prefer not to face. Maybe you would like to be done with it quickly as well (i.e. we usually smash coachroaches as quickly as possible). However, sometimes coachroaches are hard to get, they scurry (like the one in your dream), and that could mean that whatever the issue is, it's not so easily resolved (as much as you'd like it to be).

I think the size is significant --it's not a tiny coachroach, but bigger than normal. If indeed the coachroaches represent a conflict, then the size might reflect the fact that the conflict feels overwhelming. Also, you need help to take care of it -- you scream for your husband.

The part that I need clarification from you --your brother and sister in law --do you have a conflictual or estranged relationship with them in real life? I'll wait to speak to that part when I get your response.

Thanks ---

Customer replied 287 days and 11 hours ago.

Hi, just got back from the dentist. Well it is a long story. I did all the necessary document for my husband's brother and his family to come to the U.S. more than 20 years ago. Because of their mother (my husband and his brothers and sister) pitting against her own children, so they sometimes fight with this one family or the other and sometimes become allies too. After over 20 years the mother finally died at the age of 98. Then the eldest brother allied with us; after so many, many painful backstabbing and fights, my husband (his younger brother) let go and we take them out to eat (Chinesse tradition, when both parents die, the eldest become the father/mother); and I was the one suggesting this. Gradually eldest brother show his true self; the final blow was there was one cousin who came to Boston to visit her daughter and came to see us. Because the idiot eldest brother does not drive so well, so my husand took this cousin to Universal Studio, we had a great time and the cousin kept saying to me: you are such a warm and kind person, you are so kind, so ... Then the next day, the cousin and the eldest brother and family came to our house so that we can bring them to our aunty's funeral (not my cousin's mother), it was only 8 hours ago when their cousin home to the eldest brother's house, she suddenly turned on me, and insultingly said: so what you graduated with Dean's honor, you couldn't make a dime! And many more. This shocked me to "Timbuktoo" because she was just saying how she likes me last night. Well, there was so much more so that I was deeply wounded. Due to many of my husband's relatives, sister, sister's daughter, mother-in-law, I was called all kinds of names, and they are really educated, (please do not think all Chinese are like them). My mother-in-law used to make sure that we hate her husband, their father, and most of all, that the children do not get well together Of course there are willing participants. My husband, his eldest brother, and their sister and sister's daughter are always dying to put me down, my epiphany is that no matter how well I cook and do things for them, the more they hate and sour with me. My mother-in-law even have problem that I am most beautiful looking. I digressed. I really like this visiting cousin, but now even if I go to China, I cannot really have a good and honest conversation with her. Nor can I tell her what truly took place, cause that will make me so small. My god, even before her mother died (my mother-in-law's younger sister), her mother told me that she did not understand why my husband's mother was saying to her that: why such a bad woman like me ended up with such a good son who loves me so much. My son is my angel.

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Expert:  Dr Fee replied 287 days and 11 hours ago.

 

Oh wow ---it sounds like a lot of very deep wounding and verbally abusive behavior towards you. It's not easy to heal from wounds like that, words like that hurt very deeply. And to have the cousin do a 180 like that with her words, would be incredibly shocking --and betraying.

 

I really think that your dream reflects all of that -- the behavior of the relatives is revolting --like coachroaches. I believe the coachroaches represent their abusive behavior. You don't always see the behavior coming (like the cousin) so you are taken by surprise --which is what coachroaches typically do. They're hard to get --and there's no good, easy answer for dealing with the relatives either.

 

I think that your husband getting the coachroaches in the dream is a very positive part of the dream --he is helping you, standing up for you in the dream. I hope that is also true in real life. If it isn't true, you and he need to really talk about this issue.

 

Unless I misunderstood you, it was very recently that the Aunty's funeral occured? If that's true, then the timing of the dream makes total sense. But, even if I misunderstood the timing, it's still an unresolved issue and your unconscious mind is saying "it's time to address it." Part of addressing it, I believe is both grieving (for how you have been hurt) and perhaps some boundary setting (so you are not hurt again). I know that boundary setting can be very tricky in some cultures, so if you want to talk about that, we can.

 

Please let me know if this is a satisfactory answer --we can keep dialoguing if it does not seem complete enough for you.

 

 

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Expert:  Dr Fee replied 287 days and 11 hours ago.

I see that you gave a negative rating. As I stated, I am happy to work with you until you have a satisfactory answer, but I need input as to what it is you are looking for specifically. Please respond, and I will work with you until you are satisfied.

 

Customer replied 287 days and 10 hours ago.

First of all I want to apologize to you for scolding the site that asks "what have you done", it meant for the person who is not detail oriented at all. But I thought there is a reason for the dressed up cockroach and that they are under my bed. And yes, you are right, they are, I mean, especially the eldest brother, he is so very slimy but not smooth in his acting towards me, that harsh, not-looking-at-you eyes, but carrying himself in a way so unassumingly. You see, my husband always try to avoid conflicts, so he never say anything in front of him. He just told me that, he understands me, and that even when the elder sister was telling everybody that I slept with the youngest brother, my husband said he couldn't care less, he wants me. Of course the younger brother did not know that he slept with me!!! A tall handsome family, except for their ugly huge, flat face mother, and the sister looky like a man, yet turned out to be so sick. I never ever provoked them at all, never, I swear to the universe.

Yes, the aunty just died last November, just happend when our cousin was visiting us. The dead aunty is wife of my father-in-law's younger brother, and he (was) the chief mathmetician for 1969 Apollo 13.

Customer replied 287 days and 9 hours ago.

P.S. Why is the crushed cockroach not gushing out white gooey stuff? How come the cloth my husband showed me is full of red blood instead?

Accepted Answer

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Expert:  Dr Fee replied 286 days and 23 hours ago.

There's no need to apologize, but please do know that I am willing to work with you until you are satisfied. Internet interactions are inherently more difficult than face to face interactions, so it can take some effort to communicate effectively, but my goal is just that.

As you know, the white gooey stuff would have been the proper, or physiologically correct thing to see --it's the "fat" of the cockroach and where it gets it's energy from. It sounds like you believe that it's significant that these were bloody, and I tend to agree.

Let me tell you what blood can mean generally, then we can decide what it means specifically for you:

Blood can mean:
1. Love, passion, or disappointment (And I think the latter applies here --although probably far more intensely than disappointment I would say)
2. When the blood belongs to others (which does apply in this case) it can represent "bitter confrontations." For sure that applies in this case!
3. I should also note that it's quite common for women to dream about blood right before their periods.

As far as the "dressed up" cockroach goes, I think you've already interpreted that for yourself --the eldest brother "hidden" under the way he acts, and carries himself. A "dressed up" anything can fool someone for awhile, but the insides don't change. It sounds like your dream was trying to depict that.

The bed --the bed is a very personal, intimate place. The cockroaches invade this personal place --although under the bed sounds better than the alternatives.

I am sorry to hear that your husband avoids conflicts --it sounds like he is supportive of you, but that it would be so much better if he stood up for you with his family.

Please follow up if you need to -- like I said, I will work with you until you are satisfied.

Expert TypePsychologist
Category: Dream Interpretation
Pos. Feedback: 94.7 %
Accepts: 65
Answered: 6/27/2012

Experience: Psychologist specializing in anxiety and trauma recovery

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Customer replied 286 days and 22 hours ago.

I have just clicked a tips for you, but the site said something to the effect that it did not work. I will try again if it did not go through. Last night at 12:00 midnight my son called and said that the credit card company called, and somebody used my card for some T-shirts "Threadless" for $100. Maybe that's is the reason your tips did not go through. BTW, I like the way you tell me about what each object or item represents. Thank you.

Accepted Answer

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Expert:  Dr Fee replied 286 days and 22 hours ago.

You are welcome. Yes, I would be if there was fraudulent activity on your card I am sure it would affect your deposit here. You can always contact Customer Support for assistance via email through the site or at(NNN) NNN-NNNN

Take good care.

Dr Fee

Expert TypePsychologist
Category: Dream Interpretation
Pos. Feedback: 94.7 %
Accepts: 65
Answered: 6/27/2012

Experience: Psychologist specializing in anxiety and trauma recovery

Ask this Expert a Question >
Customer replied 266 days and 11 hours ago.

Today, after receiving your message, I've tried 4 times to put in a $3.00 bonus to no avail. I called and spoke with a young man to change my credit card number, and after a few waitings, he said it was done; but still my bonus for you did not go through. You see, my old credit card was compromised, so Visa deleted my old card, and sent me a new one. I've tried again 5 minutes ago, but your site will not accept my bonus, I also tried 3 times this morning. Please give me an adress so that I can send you a check. I think it is unfair to me to have to waste so much time, getting on the phone, trying again and again on this site to put through a bonus.

 
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