Welcome to the chat! I am Dr. Altman and am happy to answer your questions today
It sounds like you both have been through a lot!
There are a few things that might help...
1.) Putting up a gait or piece of wood that the kitty can jump to get to the litter box but your little one cannot
2.) Exercise is key. I cannot emphasize the importance enough...a dog that is not getting regular daily walks, and it sounds like she is quite nervous/ anxious, will release that energy in an unhealthy way. Walks will be a healthy way to release that energy mentally and physically
3.) Do not feel sorry for her (or you!). This makes you weak in her eyes and it will increase her anxiety. So no coddling. That is not to say you cannot hold her but not when she is in this very anxious/ nervous energy. Practice obedience or go on a walk, play with her until she is able to allow her mind to move forward out of this state. Believe me I have a little dog that has a lot of anxious energy and as soon as she is in that needy state or shaking she goes down because when you hold her in that state and pet her it means, in her mind you are supporting that nervous energy
4.) When you are not with her baby gate to your room to not allow free roaming to have accidents in the house
5.) When you leave/ return no coddling! Walk in or exit without sympathies or anxiety. No attention to her until she is calm at your feet, not scratching or barking for attention. My dogs only get attention when they are in this mental state because addressing them when they are excited or anxious feeds that energy and tells them it is ok to be in that state
I have a feeling you are having difficulties with live chat so I am going to change formats in a moment if you have not entered the live chat