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Friend, I am so sorry to learn Bear is not doing well. I know how difficult this must be for you especially having to make the decision of putting her to sleep. In response to your question, as an ER nurse, you know that patients respond differently to overdoses to barbituates. So giving her an overdose of phenobarbital may not necessarily cause her to pass quickly and peacefully. We don't use phenobarbital orally for euthanasia. In addition, you doing this is illegal for you and a very big liability for the veterinarian making this recommendation. I do, however, understand you wanting to have her pass at home. I would recommend you seek for a vet in your area that does a home visit and carries out a normal euthanasia via an IV infusion.
I am glad I was here to help, thank you for understanding and being so concerned for Bear's comfort. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers tonight for strength during this difficult period for you.