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Zoey_ JD
Zoey_ JD, JustAnswer Criminal Law Mentor
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 23541
Experience:  Admitted to NYS Criminal defense bar in 1989. Extensive arraignment, hearing, trial experience.
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I'd like some guidelines. I am a single, older guy. I

Customer Question

I'd like some guidelines. I am a single, older guy. I occasionally meet young women on dating sites who are specifically looking for older, intelligent, successful men. They usually also want some type of financial help, as well as being fascinated with intelligence. My aim is to date someone regularly, and have a real emotional and romantic connection with them, hopefully leading to something long term. I'm looking for a deeper relationship, which of course includes intimacy. I don't mind helping someone out financially who I care about. It's an "arrangement". My question is how to do this legally.Some of these women are very open to dating and intimacy, but they do want/need some financial help. There's a fine line here. If without agreeing specifically on any figure, after being intimate, i hand a woman some money to help her, or even just leave it out for her as a gift, without saying anything but just pointing to it, is that a safe practice? Alternatively, can I offer her money specifically "to cuddle, or to make out", legally?If I say "I really want to go forward in a relationship with you. I also want to help you. If I give you (x amount of dollars) when I see you, will that help you out?" Or can I offer to cover her time while she's off work?
Are these things safe and legal, since I'm not SPECIFICALLY offering to pay her for sex?Is there a "proper"way to phrase all this so it's legal, yet we both get what we want?
Submitted: 15 days ago.
Category: Criminal Law
Expert:  Zoey_ JD replied 15 days ago.

Hi,

I'm Zoey and I'll be assisting you. I'm reviewing your question now. Please be patient while I compose a reply for you.

Expert:  Zoey_ JD replied 15 days ago.

Theoretically, so long as you are not offering an exchange of sexual favors for financial assistance, you are not soliciting a prostitute. What you would be doing, however, is setting yourself up to be defrauded. Involving a total stranger in a financial arrangement is the #1 sign of an internet fraud. And no matter how well you think you may get to someone you meet on a dating site via email, phone or text, the fact is that you don't know if a person is who, what or where she says she is unless you actually meet first.

So you could be safe from a soliciting charge and not be safe from internet fraud and exploitation on that level. If you're really looking for a relationship, consider meeting women in person and then offering your assistance in person during the course of the relationship, if they want it or need it.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
Thank you, I'm well aware of the likelihood of fraud. May I specifically ask, are the following safe approaches: If without agreeing specifically on any figure, after being intimate, i hand a woman some money to help her, or even just leave it out for her as a gift, without saying anything but just pointing to it, is that a safe practice? Alternatively, can I offer her money specifically "to cuddle, or to make out", legally?If I say "I really want to go forward in a relationship with you. I also want to help you. If I give you (x amount of dollars) when I see you, will that help you out?" Or can I offer to cover her time while she's off work?
Customer: replied 15 days ago.
I wanted to clarify: I meet the women I talk to online in person. I would certainly never give anyone money without having gone out on couple of dates with them first.
Expert:  Zoey_ JD replied 15 days ago.

Thanks for the clarification.

If you are planning on meeting the woman in person and dating a couple of times, before broaching the subject, there shouldn't really be a problem. First of all the woman wouldn't be an undercover officer. Secondly, you'd have already developed the beginning of a relationship with her and you should be able to speak frankly.

On the other hand, speaking now not as a lawyer but as a woman, I believe that many women would be insulted if you were intimate with them and then handed them cash, or if you offered to pay them for physical contact. The latter could lead to harassment charges.

Saying that you really want to go forward in a relationship and want to help, and offering to money to help should be safe and sounds better, to me than offering to cover her time while she's at work though that also should be safe.

Expert:  Zoey_ JD replied 13 days ago.

Just checking in to see if you need more help or any clarification of my answer. If so, please reply here on this question thread.