Thanks for the reply and sorry for the delay.
You already must know that as scared as you are to confront this issue, you are making a mountain out of a possible molehill by doing nothing to help yourself. Yes, you're scared, but the longer you delay in trying to set things right, the higher the likelihood that jail will be your only option.
Contact the lawyer who assisted you with this case and get him to find out if there's a warrant. If you've got the money to pay the fines, have him arrange a return on the warrant if there is one by contacting your Parole and see if they will let you pay the fines. If Parole already knows of your family tragedy, and you can document with some kind of evidence that you had a breakdown, you may well be able to avoid jail. If you are violated, your lawyer would have to demonstrate that you were not deliberately ducking your Parole obligation but that you were in the throes of a tragedy and had a breakdown. And, as soon as you became stable again, you took steps to have Parole contacted and to pay your fines.
In short, Parole is going to violate you when you return, because that's what Parole has to do. But that doesn't mean they will return you to jail if you were not intentionally ducking your obligations.
I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear. But the quicker you get over your fears and bite the bullet, the better your chances that Parole will be sympathetic. And, of course, if there is no warrant yet, why wait until there is one and risk an arrest and an involuntary return.