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Zoey_ JD
Zoey_ JD, JustAnswer Criminal Law Mentor
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 25495
Experience:  Admitted to NYS Criminal defense bar in 1989. Extensive arraignment, hearing, trial experience.
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My ex is going to file harassment charges against me. I need

Customer Question

My ex is going to file harassment charges against me. I need to defend myself before she files anything.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Criminal Law
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Should I call police dept now and try to get a restraining order against her. I am a practicing physician and can't have anything negative on my record.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We broke up in early June, I have been trying to contact her and she has been responding, sometimes I have gotten angry but have never threatened her except that I will sue her. Never anything physical. I have not called her any names. But she has told me several times to leave her alone and never to go to her apt. Which I have many times but not for last 10 days.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
About a week ago I called her and left a msg toreturn my stuff, she never replied, I texxted her again today but again she didn't reply, at this time I called hthe guy she is with to help me get my stuff back. He called her and then my EX called me and threatened me that she will kill me, she has never said or texted Mr anything like this before. I didn't record this phone call.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Even though she has told me to leave her alone via text many times. And I continued to on and off tested her, can I still file restraining orders or file harassment charges before she does. I will retain a legal counsel in the morning but need to know my next step now. Thanks.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
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Expert:  Zoey_ JD replied 1 year ago.

Hello, and thank you for requesting me.

She has the ability to go for a restraining order against you because she has repeatedly asked you to leave her alone and you have continued periodically to have contact with her. I realize it's not that simple, as she seems to change her mind about what she wants, but still, she has repeatedly given you notice that you're not welcome in her life.

You, on the other hand, don't have any basis that I can see in your fact pattern to get a restraining order from her. It looks as if you only have contact with her when you initiate it. You can try to beat her to the punch by going to the police yourself, telling them that your ex wants you to leave her alone and that you are willing to comply with that so that she does not get you arrested but that you need your property which is over at her place. Ask them if they will contact her for you to make arrangements to go with an officer to collect your property.

I agree with you that being the first to the police can make the difference in a he said/she said matter as to who becomes the complainant and who becomes the defendant on a criminal case. But still, you have to have actual grounds for a restraining order -- that you are being stalked or that someone is making you fearful for your safety -- and I don't see that here in your fact pattern.