My name is ***** ***** I am an experienced criminal
It's not up to you to interpret the law for the State. You just have to tell them what it was that your ex did, and they will determine what offense they will be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. However, under Iowa law, if she wasn't clothing or feeding him properly this is a form of neglect and could be a felony charge.
726.3 NEGLECT OR ABANDONMENT OF A DEPENDENT PERSON.
A person who is the father, mother, or some other person having
custody of a child, or of any other person who by reason of mental or
physical disability is not able to care for the person's self, who
knowingly or recklessly exposes such person to a hazard or danger
against which such person cannot reasonably be expected to protect
such person's self or who deserts or abandons such person, knowing or
having reason to believe that the person will be exposed to such
hazard or danger, commits a class "C" felony. However, a parent or
person authorized by the parent shall not be prosecuted for a
violation of this section involving abandonment of a newborn infant,
if the parent or the person authorized by the parent has voluntarily
released custody of the newborn infant in accordance with section
The way to get charges pressed is simply to go to the police, tell them that you want to report a crime, that you want this person to be denied access to your son, and that you want charges pressed against her for her neglect of him while in her custody.