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Barrister
Barrister, Criminal Defense Law
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 35297
Experience:  16 years practicing criminal defense.
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My ex boyfriend has filed a restraining order against me for

Customer Question

My ex boyfriend has filed a restraining order against me for domestic violence. I caught he cheating on me and questioned him about it, he began to choke me out so I grabbed his shoulders and ripped his shirt and scratched his shoulders while doing so. I left the scene and went to a hotel. The next day I was served with a restraining order. I never reported the incident, but we have a court date in a week. Can I request a mutual restraining order against him even if I have no physical proof of the attack? He also has many of my belongings that he didn't return. The way he served me also was he brought a suitcase of my things to where I was staying and dropped it off at the door, as I was pulling my belongings into the room a guy walked by a threw the papers at me and said "you've been served, bitch" ... Since he's the one who brought my belongings, doesn't that prove that he doesn't feel threatened by me? He has also maybe verbal threats to call employers as well as to send people to attack me, but I have no proof because the calls are from blocked numbers and I had no way to record he calls.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Criminal Law
Expert:  Barrister replied 1 year ago.
Hello and welcome! My name is ***** ***** I will try my level best to help with your situation or get you to someone who can.
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""Can I request a mutual restraining order against him even if I have no physical proof of the attack?""
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Yes, you could ask the judge directly at any hearing after relating your version of the events as it is a virtual certainty that he left out the part about choking you which necessitated you defending yourself.
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""Since he's the one who brought my belongings, doesn't that prove that he doesn't feel threatened by me?""
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That could be argued to the judge, but that fact by itself wouldn't mean that the judge wouldn't grant the order. If he thinks that there is a possibility for future violence, then he can ask for the order.
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But in my experience, it is much more likely that he did this strictly to get the jump on you because he was afraid that you would file a criminal complaint against him for choking you. In most circumstances, the person who files first is the one the judge believes unless their story simply doesn't make sense.
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thanks
Barrister