I appreciate your kind words. For the past year and a half I've been trying to learn as much as possible about this complex illness. By chance I met a person whose daughter is a psychiatrist that happens to specialize in adolescent BPD but practices in New York (we're in Atlantic County). She advised me to seek out a behavioral therapist that has experience with dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which is the only proven therapy for not only treating BPD but PTSD and eating disorders as well. After months of searching I finally found a place in Philly but does not accept insurance and extremely expensive. At the time she moved out my daughter was convinced she could take care of herself and didn't need any help but has since changed her mind.
The police did not have a search warrant when they entered the room. They told them that they needed to make sure the room was clear. Whatever that means. I'm guessing the boyfriend assumed there was no choice and had to let them enter the room. (the boyfriend and his friend moved my daughter to another hotel room before police arrived). I'm also guessing police are using "in plane sight" as reasoning for probable cause when the one kid sat on a bag of weed that was on the bed in an effort to hide it (and he wasn't charged). The cops did a quick search and indeed find drugs and money, no guns (yet). However, the boyfriend had received an insurance payment for $150K almost 2 months earlier which is about when the crack habit started. My daughter said he was buying drugs in bulk because he got a better deal. Apparently the more you buy the cheaper drugs are. Go figure. Anyway, my daughter called and told me what happened from the hospital. She asked if I would stop at hotel on my way to see her and bring her cell phone and wallet to her.
I called hotel manager to ask permission since I did not have a key. He said I could as long as I agreed to clean up the mess because, as he put it, my daughter and the boyfriend had destroyed the room, When I arrived at the hotel I learned about boyfriend renting a second room supposedly for a friend who needed a place to stay. When I entered their room I was shocked to see a glass pipe sitting out in the open on the bed. There was contraband scattered about the room. The manager had to go back to office to answer a call and when he left I took several pictures with my cell. When he came back I said I couldn't find her wallet or cell phone. That's when I found out about the second room. The manger took me upstairs to the other room. I located her wallet and cell phone but also noticed her laptop and some of her jewelry also in the room. I asked manager if I should come back after checking on my daughter to clean out their things from the rooms. He told me the next morning would be better and I agreed to be there by noon with friends to help me.
The next day, when I arrived, the hotel room doors were wide open. As I got out of my car the hotel owner pulled up. She said the cleaning girl had found a gun hidden in the upstairs room behind the tv and had called police. She called cleaning girl to come talk to me. She told me after taking gun from upstairs the police went to my daughter and boyfriends room to do another search and said they had taken boxes of stuff. I asked her if my daughter's laptop and jewelry were still upstairs and she said yes. However, after the owner left, she came to downstairs room I was cleaning and told me the laptop and jewelry were gone and maybe cops had taken it. She wasn't sure. I noticed that in their room some of the contraband was gone but not all of it. The cleaning lady told me she'd thrown away the weed she found (but called police because of the gun?) I think she stole it myself. She also told me that the room my daughter was staying in with boyfriend was still in my name and the second room was in boyfriends name. After finding out she was homeless and pregnant I gave them my credit card to pay for room until boyfriend got his money he promised me he was going to use to buy a house for them.
And you know the rest. If the hotel room was still in my name why didn't the police call to question me? None of this makes any sense to me. The boyfriend keeps calling me and even posted on my other daughter's face book page pretending to be his friend asking me to call him which I feel is borderline harassment?
Now that you know the rest, is any of this legal?
this isnt a question just FYI in case it matters. He was essentially homeless. When I refused to allow him to stay in my home and my daughter moved out with him, he managed to get JFS (jewish family services) to put them up in a rundown motel for a month. I can't see a drug dealer installing carpets for $20 a day so they could eat. JFS would only bring them bread and PBJ once a week while trying to get them food stamps. When I found out what was going on and that my daughter was pregnant, I decided it would be easier to keep an eye on them if I was helping them get on their feet. I personally faxed notarized change of address to alstate, picked up the check from his mother's when it arrived, took him to the bank and watched him set up a savings and checking account with bank manager, as well as set up a consult for him with an investment/finance manager. If I hadn't helped him the way I did my BS meter would have indeed been off the chart.
Thanks for your help. I feel I have a much better understanding of this legal mess and what to expect.
No need to apologize. I understand how farfetched it sounded but I had to cut back details in order to explain the overall situation.(if that makes any sense) They only allow so many characters and I kept running out of room. So actually, I believe it's me who owes you the apology. Anyone would have assumed the same thing.
Thank you again for your help. Having a clear picture of what's what will keep me from wasting time focusing my attention on trying to figure out issues that are irrelevant, not what I thought, or not worth persuing.
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).