I would start and stop with the DA unless I was interested in completely dropping charges. I have already gone over this before with you. However, yes, if you wish to contact his lawyer to see if he will give you more information than the DA will, by all means do so. The worst thing that will happen is that he will tell you that you are the complainant, that he does not wish to speak to you, and that you should call the DA for your information.
There is nothing improper about calling the defense lawyer, except that if the case were to go to trial
, anything you shared with him could be used against you. But since you do not intend for this case to go to trial if you can help it, that's likely going to be a non-issue.
If the lawyer doesn't give you any information, call the DA. If he still pronounces you impatient and refuses to share any information with you, contact the DA's supervisor, as I indicated above.
I recognize that you're impatient, however it's the DA's case, and the wheels of the criminal justice system grind slowly. If your husband likes the offer, the case can end fairly quickly but otherwise, it can drag on, and there isn't much you will be able to do about it except wait.