ScottyMacEsq : Thank you for using JustAnswer. I am researching your issue and will respond shortly.
ScottyMacEsq : I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Even though the sex was consensual, the assault was not.
ScottyMacEsq : While it couldn't be considered "sexual" assault, it could still clearly be assault.
ScottyMacEsq : If the assault was not something that you had consented to (such as part of a S&M situation, etc...) you can absolutely file charges against him for his actions.
ScottyMacEsq : I would certainly contact the police in regards XXXXX XXXXX assault, and pursue him.
ScottyMacEsq : Again, the sex itself being consensual does not extend to other acts that, standing alone, would be illegal, so those will still be illegal.
ScottyMacEsq : Hope that clears things up a bit. If you have any other questions, please let me know. If not, and you have not yet, please rate my answer AND press the "submit" button, if applicable. Please note that I don't get any credit for my answer unless and until you rate it a 3, 4, 5 (good or better). Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX luck to you!
ScottyMacEsq : Did you have any other questions before you rate this answer?
Customer: I wouldn't describe the encounter as being part of an "S&M situation" but it was getting kind of aggressive. I'm worried that I somehow invited the punch by letting some of the things that preceded it go (i.e. hair pulling, neck grabbing, etc). I just never in a million years would want or expect a grown man to hit me with a closed fist in my face. I feel like I've been assaulted but I also feel guilty
ScottyMacEsq : I understand, and ultimately these things are judged by the circumstances. But there is a big difference between "aggressive" and "assault".
ScottyMacEsq : Merely getting aggressive is not the same thing as inviting physical injury on yourself.
ScottyMacEsq : And that's not something you "invite" on yourself accidentally.
Customer: The other thing I am worried about is that I didn't say anything to him about it the next day and didn't confront him about it until the bruising was apparent today.
ScottyMacEsq : I can't speak for your reasoning, but it might have been out of shame, denial, guilt, fear, etc... That does not excuse what was done.
ScottyMacEsq : (and it doesn't absolve anyone of guilt if no one talks about it)
Customer: He sent me a text message that said "I didn't see a black eye the next day, either way I'm sry"
ScottyMacEsq : Whether or not he's sorry doesn't absolve him of guilt either...
ScottyMacEsq : (lots of sorry people in jail)
Customer: and "Either way I never saw black eye on you and I don't think anyone else did in the morning, and you never said anything to me about it, but in any event all I can do is apologize.:
Customer: is it considered an admission of guilt?
Customer: and "uh oh. :( I'm sry. If I did I didn't mean to"
ScottyMacEsq : It's certainly an admission that he hit you. He can still argue that it was consensual or that it was incidental to the aggressiveness of the moment, although like I said before, there's a difference between aggressiveness and actual physical injury
Customer: whats the difference
ScottyMacEsq : Aggressiveness, to an extent, can be anticipated. But actual physical violence that results in visible injury is something else entirely.
ScottyMacEsq : That's assault.
Customer: Well for example, I have scratch marks on my body from that night too, but that doesn't bother me - getting punched so hard that I saw stars when I wasn't expecting that at all is more emotionally and psychologically damaging to me
ScottyMacEsq : I understand, and I think it's a crime. Only if it was known and consented to before hand that he was going to punch you would it not be.
ScottyMacEsq : It's entirely up to you, but you should not feel guilty or in any way to blame for this.
ScottyMacEsq : You didn't "invite" it accidentally.
Customer: So what should I do?
ScottyMacEsq : Call the police. File a report. Be completely honest, but make it clear that you absolutely did not consent to being punched.
ScottyMacEsq : And you should do it sooner rather than later, especially when they can view the black eye.
Customer: what will happen next?
ScottyMacEsq : If the police choose to pursue it, which they probably will, they will contact him and ask for his statement and probably to come in. Again, it's not enough for him to say that things got "physical". Just because you're having sex doesn't give anyone the right to punch and injure the other person.
ScottyMacEsq : They may charge him, and if that's the case, it's going to the prosecution.
ScottyMacEsq : He can plead guilty, not guilty, or no contest.
ScottyMacEsq : There might be a restraining order put in place.
ScottyMacEsq : But in any event, this would hopefully keep him from doing the same to other.s
Customer: I'm scared of him coming after me
ScottyMacEsq : And that's what the restraining order would be for. If he did so, that would be a different crime and contempt (which he can go to jail for)
Customer: would I have to go to court?
ScottyMacEsq : Probably. If it was something that he pleads not guilty to, you would almost certainly have to testify (unless he confesses before that time)
Customer: what would happen if he confessed? a slap on the wrist? i guess i'm trying to figure out whether or not it's worth pissing off a violent man
ScottyMacEsq : If it's a violent man, he needs to answer for it and be held accountable. I can't say that they are always stopped by restraining orders, but most of the time (at least 95% of the time they are) and it's jail if they do break the order.
Customer: Is any of this going to cost me money? Like do I need to hire a lawyer for court etc?
ScottyMacEsq : No. That's what the police and prosecution are for. Criminal prosecutions don't cost the victim money.
Customer: well thank you for your help.. I guess it's something I have to think about
ScottyMacEsq : My pleasure.If you have any other questions, please let me know. If not, and you have not yet, please rate my answer AND press the "submit" button, if applicable. Please note that I don't get any credit for my answer unless and until you rate it a 3, 4, 5 (good or better). Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX good luck to you!