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The police are not under any legal duty to disclose the details of a pending arrest or investigation, even under the public information act. Most all police departments also have policies preventing the release of arrest information. Thus, it is not odd at all that the detective would try to find out your exact relationship to her and refuse to disclose information even on a public intoxication arrest. Once the matter goes to court, the court records are public records and you can get the information from there, but police reports or information from the police on pending cases (which this is considered) are not subject to release under the public records act.
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