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Alex J. Esq.
Alex J. Esq., Attorney at Law
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 13438
Experience:  Experienced Licensed Attorney / Criminal Law Mentor
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I had a boyfriend whom I met off a dating website. We had consensual

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I had a boyfriend whom I met off a dating website. We had consensual sex. The first time he ejaculated into me without my permission. I was very angry and told him to never do it again. The second time I made sure he clearly knew that I did not want him to ejaculate but to pull out, therefore I did NOT give him consent to do so. Nevertheless he did it anyways. He denied it, but I felt he was lying because I felt his cum coming out of me. Nevertheless I was confused and wanted to believe him because I liked him. I gave him a third chance because he wore a condom. We were having sex doggie style and when we were done I turned around and he was holding his condom. I asked him why he removed his condom, he claimed he only removed it at the end but I didn't see any cum in it and felt it coming out of me. I felt his cum leaking out of me but he claimed that was the cum that came out of the condom when he removed right after the sex. That made no sense to me, because if that was the case it would have just leaked on the side of my leg but it was coming out of me and I knew he was lying. I realized at that point he had been lying all along and was being reckless. I reported him to the police for rape, but the prosecutor did not see a case because it was consentual. What bothers me is that although the sex was consentual, the ejaculation was not. Can he be tried for anything else besides rape such as sexual imposition or gross sexual imposition? In ohio the definition for sexual imposition is where the offender knows that the other person's ability to appraise the nature or control the offender's or touching persons conduct is substantially impaired. Thats how I felt when we had sex doggie style. I was in a vulnerable position, I could not see what he was doing and he removed his condom against my will and ejaculated in me- a total of three times against my will. Please take what I write very seriously. It has caused me terrible stress and I need answers. I feel violated and taken advantage of.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Criminal Law
Expert:  Alex J. Esq. replied 1 year ago.

Alex Esquire :

Hello. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will be glad to help you.

Alex Esquire :

Are you online with me?

Customer:

yes I am

Alex Esquire :

Welcome to JustAnswer.com

Customer:

thanks

Alex Esquire :

I am very sorry to hear about your terrible experience.

Customer:

thank-you

Alex Esquire :

I am afraid that I do not have good news here.

Customer:

its ok, tell me anyways.

Alex Esquire :

Unfortunately, if you has consensual sex with your boyfriend, regardless or not whether you have agreed to use a condom or not, there would be no crime committed, unless you told your boyfriend to stop at some point and he did not.

Alex Esquire :

However, if this boyfriend, God forbid knowingly infect you with some type of STD or if you get pregnant, than he can be held civilly liable for such action or for the support for the baby.

Alex Esquire :

I do take everything that you stated very seriously and reviewed your question very closely, but unfortunately, there is simply nothing criminal about this type of sexual behavior, since the sex was initiated with consent of both parties.

Customer:

No, I did not tell him to stop. But why doesnt his act of deception fall into some kind of law?

Alex Esquire :

Can you please also tell me your age and the age of your boyfriend?

Customer:

Im 40 and he is 45. He is not my boyfriend now.

Alex Esquire :

okay. I am glad that you stopped having any contact with this irresponsible and disrespectful man.

Customer:

Are you looking at the laws for the state of Ohio?

Alex Esquire :

Yes I am.

Alex Esquire :

Unfortunately, a consent to a sexual act, would cover the type of behavior that your ex-boyfriend exhibited, but as I said, if you do suffer any health issues as a result, you can hold him civilly liable.

Alex Esquire :

Does this make sense?

Customer:

so in other words, because I consented, he has the right to do anything he wants and cant be held liable?

Alex Esquire :

Within the scope of consent yes.

Alex Esquire :

And it would be up to you to tell him to stop, if he did something that you did not like or approve.

Alex Esquire :

When you reported this issue to the police, what did police advise you?

Customer:

how sad. How would a jury view this type of case in your opinion if a lawyer was to take it to court?

Alex Esquire :

When you reported this issue to the police, what did police advise you?


Customer:

All they said was to never contact him again and several prosecutors reviewed it, and all felt there was no case. Do you think they told me to stay away from him for my own protection? I was surprised the detective was so adamant about it. It was obvious I was going to stay away from him after what he did.

Alex Esquire :

Well, because prosecutors did not see any criminal act in this incidents, it would be the same reasons why you would not have a civil recourse, unless you can show direct permanent damages to your health, as a result of his reckless actions, such as transmission of herpes or Aids.

Customer:

Everything you are telling me is based on various Ohio laws I presume? In other words unless I get a disease or pregnant there is nothing I can do.

Customer:

A civil recourse?

Alex Esquire :

I know it doesn't appear fair, but the law is the law, and I have no way to change the law.

Alex Esquire :

Correct.

Alex Esquire :

There generally would be no civil legal recourse, unless you suffer direct damages under Ohio law and most other states laws

Customer:

A civil recourse is where I would take this to a civil court of law?

Alex Esquire :

Correct

Alex Esquire :

This is where you would sue for money damages in civil court.

Alex Esquire :

The reason the police told you to stay away from ex, could be due to various reasons, but most likely is that they did not want to aggravate this situation by further contact and further potential issues and also they might have gotten a possible complaint against you from the ex...but there is now way to know for sure.

Customer:

I dont mean to be repetative but in other words there is nothing I could do in any court system.- correct?

Alex Esquire :

Correct. Not based on the facts you have stated to me. I am very sorry that you had to deal with such inconsiderate and irresponsible ex who would not respect your wishes!

Customer:

Im simply trying to get closure.

Alex Esquire :

I completely understand and I do hope you can recover and move on from this terrible experience that you had.

Customer:

thank-you very much. You have been great. I very much appreciate your answers. Can I request you in the future?

Alex Esquire :

Thank you for your kind word, the mean a world to me! You can request me in the future by starting your new questions with "This question is for Alex Esquire only".

Customer:

Oh, one more thing you never answered how a jury might view a case like this?

Alex Esquire :

Sure.

Alex Esquire :

You would not have a valid cause of action / claim in this case, if you cannot show direct damages to you, resulting from this incidents.

Customer:

One more thing, you never told me how a jury might view a case like this? give me your best opinion

Alex Esquire :

So, the case would be dismissed by the court, before it ever would get to the jury.

Customer:

what if the damages are emotional?

Alex Esquire :

They would not be actionable.

Customer:

how come?

Alex Esquire :

In other words, you would not have a valid claim simply based on emotional damages under the facts you have described.

Customer:

I see. Its just that there are always emotional damages when it comes to inapproriate sexual misconduct, especially rape.

Alex Esquire :

right, but this incident would not meet any elements of rape.

Alex Esquire :

and would be considered consensual under the law.

Customer:

i understand. I dont agree, but I understand.

Alex Esquire :

I am very sorry, but the laws are not always fair to people.

Alex Esquire :


I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you and please click on the "excellent service" rating, so I can receive credit for my answer.

Bonus and positive feedback is always appreciated, but is not required.

Customer:

Your last answer was very clear- THANK-YOU

Alex J. Esq., Attorney at Law
Category: Criminal Law
Satisfied Customers: 13438
Experience: Experienced Licensed Attorney / Criminal Law Mentor
Alex J. Esq. and other Criminal Law Specialists are ready to help you

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Alex J. Esq.
Alex J. Esq.
Criminal Lawyer
13438 Satisfied Customers
Experienced Licensed Attorney / Criminal Law Mentor