Unfortunately, and it's generally too late once the ball has been set in motion, the police just don't have independent discretion when they come to the scene of a domestic incident. No matter what they privately feel about what should happen, no matter whether the husband or wife want to get charges pressed, the police must make an arrest. And once the police have made the arrest and turned the matter over to the prosecutor, though your wife remains the complainant, as the alleged victim of the crime, it is just not her case any more. If your wife does not wish this case to go forward she should go to the prosecutor's office and speak to the domestic violence
assistant assigned to prosecute your case, and she should tell that prosecutor that she is not interested in cooperating in your prosecution and that she would like the charges dropped.
The prosecutor will almost certainly tell your wife that it's too late for that and that once a domestic violence matter gets set in motion, the state can choose to go forward with the case whether the original complainant wants to go forward any more or not. That's absolutely true. The state can choose to continue on in your prosecution with or without your wife's cooperation.
While it's true that the state can do this, however, they are usually not able to win their case without the cooperation of the complainant. Here's where your lawyer can help. Once the prosecutor turns your wife down and your lawyer confirms that she wants the whole case dropped, that the prosecutor won't let her drop, and that she could use help to get it dropped, he will deal with the prosecutor, as it appears he has already told you he would do.
Not always but generally, when the complainant and the defense lawyer double team a prosecutor to drop charges, something favorable can be worked out for the defense. Exactly what can be worked out will depend on the facts of the case, which here, do not appear serious, as well as the particular prosecutor and how vested an interest he has in vigorously prosecuting this case. Many times, the prosecutor will dismiss, not quickly, but once he is sure that the complainant is in no real danger and is not being forced to drop. Other times, the case can be bargained down and a defendant is given a non jail offer that may even allow him to come out without a criminal record
, but which would usually involve anger management classes.