Thanks for clarifying. At least they are letting you see each other. It's not great consulation, but it's better than nothing. I have had clients who were told that they couldn't get married in the first place and that they could not contact each other either.
If the domestic violence incidents that he got in trouble for had nothing to do with you, you are in better shape, in terms of a possible judicial ruling. But it also now appears that his Parole is in Pennsylvania, and you are residing in New York. That makes it even more complicated, because he would have to transfer his supervision from one place to another. And if Parole in either the sending or the receiving state won't approve his housing arrangements, they are not going to approve him for transfer.
He can see what he's able to make happen through the Interestate Compact that controls the movement of probationers and parolees from one state to another and the transfer of their supervision. He can look into a mandatory transfer. Again though, he's going to need approval from PA Parole AND NY Parole. And all he can do is keep trying. He will need housing and family in the receiving state, which he obviously has, and a job with which he can support himself.
If it's approved on the PA end, then NY has to investigate and respond. If they approve it too, he will get his transfer. You can read about that here
. Transfer rules and provisions start on page 23.
Again, however, the only thing he can do is keep trying. It's tough on you and the kids and also on him, I'm sure. But a parolee has very few rights because he's a sentenced prisoner. Parole holds all of the cards, and all he can do is to keep trying.