Here is the elements, generally, for defamation:
Defamation consists of the following:
(1) a defamatory statement; (meaning a false statement that is not just a negative opinion but a statemnt of FACT, such as, "she broke into my house", when in fact you were never at his house, etc.)
(2) published to third parties; and (this part is easy, stated to others)
(3) which the speaker or publisher knew or should have known was false. (against, it is a fabrication, a lie of fact, not opinion; if he says, "I feel like she is a stalker" that may not rise to defamation, becuase only he knows how he feels, but if he fabricates an event involving you, he knows it is not true...)
Defamation in the love scene is difficult,Customer but not impossible if the facts warrant it.
If you are not convinced you can win this, I would concentrate on putting him behind me, entirely. If you feel he owes you unpaid bills, I would send them to his attorney, as he suggested, because you likely should not be communicating with him directly at all.
Let's face it, he is not the right person for you - regardless of the brain numbing emotional pain. With perseverance on your part, you WILL get over this. But you must work at it, and you must act with dignity for the betterment of yourself. Don't talk to him, don't write him, don't email him, don't call him, don't even talk about him to other. It is over, in the past, etc. Consider getting a new phone number and new email if you believe either one of them will derail you. If the money issues remaining are insignificant, consider foregoing them because the sooner you have nothing to do with this situation, the sooner you will start to heal.
Put your physical and mental wellbeing first - eat right, sleep 8 hours/night, take walks or exercise, and get new interests. Time for change, seriously. And the physical well being, particularly sleeping and eating right, are so important, because when we don't do that we are very in danger of depression setting in - take care of that body.
The sooner you have nothing more to do with that PAST situation, the better for you. It can take a couple of years of licking your wounds, but with working at it, you will bee 10 times stronger and wiser and will be less apt to make the same mistake again. Remember, if you have to "wait" for a man, at our ages, he is likely not worth the wait. He is either Mr. Right or he is NOT - why wait for him to change. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Take the time to heal yourself and realize you deserve better then him - and cut your past losses and move on. You will be SO happy you did, down the road, when you have had the change to heal and grow, unfettered with the crap involving him now, that you can rid yourself of.
Good luck. You can do this.
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