I know exactly how you feel. You've been personally violated, and I don't mean that in a legal sense but as relating to your emotional state.
Absolutely go to the police and fill out an incident report as a crime victim. Also, as this person is using the internet to break the law, you should report him to the FBI's cyber
unit. You can find out how to do that here
. Your friend is in violation not just of US laws but of international laws as well, and the same agency will handle both aspects of that. Perhaps something will come of this, perhaps not, but you'll feel better knowing that you've taken some charge of the situation and done all that you can. You might also want to contact Match.com and alert them to a predator using their site for personal gain. This last suggestion is not to "have this on record," but again, to help you get closure.
As to the bank, the expert who wrote did not say that the bank had no liability. He said he couldn't tell you without looking at your contract with the bank. Additionally, if a bank employee gave you incorrect information which you relied upon to your detriment, there may be some legal civil recourse available for you. You have not said how much money was involved here, but you may well want to do what the expert suggested and retain a local civil attorney.
At the very least, you should find a local attorney experienced in the area of bank liability who offers a free consultation and who could apprise you more fully of your rights and chances for success. Good luck!