if she is to have no contact with you, then she should not speak to you or she risks being held in contempt of court - what you can try to do as the "victim" is contact the district attorney in your county and ask to speak to a victim/witness coordinator or the attorney prosecuting the case. explain to them that it is important that she be able to talk to you because you have a child in common - ask about having the charges placed on an inactive docket - this means, if there are no more incidents than the matter will be dismissed. but you should not contact her - as you put her at risk of being held in contempt of court.
you know, it would include email - especially email as that is a written contact that can be used against her.
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