You can certainly sell your home. Your attorney is probably concerned that tipping off the court that you intend to take the children away from their father may cause a problem with custody determination later on. The court can order you to return to RI. Also, until an order is entered directing you to return with the children, you can't be charged with kidnapping - you can't kidnap your own children unless the court orders that they be returned and you disobey the order (known as a custodial kidnapping).
My suggestion is to get an attorney to file for a temporary custody and relocation order, thereby requesting court permission to be where you are. Further, you should make clear that you agree to appear and attend any necessary proceedings with regard to the divorce.
The divorce will have to be held in RI, because it is the state of residency of both of you. If you want a new judge, you can always ask that a new judge be appointed to hear the case.
If the order requires you to allow him to visit the children starting on the 17th and you've got them in Fl, you'll be cited for contempt and possibly arrested. Also, it is possible for kidnapping charges to be filed if you refuse to return with the children.
My suggestion would be to find a new attorney, have him/her file a motion to substitute the judge for a different one, and then proceed the best you can.
I know divorce litigation is frustrating, but you don't want to rebel against the court system as it will do you more harm than good.
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