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I agree the schol officials could have done better here. New Jersey law is that "whenever possible" a parent should be present for questioning, as opposed to "don't question unless a parent is present." So, you could sue, I suppose, but when you think about it and your anger subsides, you may think that it is a good thing that your son hit the wall here while he is still a minor - at worst he'll have a juvenile record, which is not a publlic record and which will not be a "Criminal record" when he becomes an adult - he'll now have 3 years to get himself away from the dark side, so to speak.
Best wishes to you and your family,