Hello Deb, I'm Dr. Bob.
I'm so sorry to read of Sugar Bear's illness.
I think you are quite right to question what you're doing for Sugar Bear.
The quality of a pet's life, present and future, is the main factor in determining whether to take heroic steps to prolong their life.
If Sugar Bear is being stressed and made uncomfortable by your efforts to get nutrition into him and the prognosis is very poor, then it is time to consider letting him go.
Before considering that, though, have you tried an appetite stimulating medication like valium or mirtazipine?
Since he is slightly interested in eating I would suggest asking your veterinarian about the possibility of using appetite stimulants. If he would eat by himself, and had a number of good quality days ahead of him, I would say let him go like that, as long as he and you are both comfortable.
Force feeding hurts the bond between pets and owners, because the pet doesn't understand that what is being done is for their good. They soon become afraid of us and resent our approach.
This is not a good way for them to live out the final period of their lives, in my opinion, but only you can decide, for both of you, how long is long enough, should it come to that.
If I may be of further assistance, please let me know.