RESUME CRITIQUE WANTED: I need someone that is a resume expert to evaluate the following resums and offer suggestions, if any, that could improve it's impact. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++To whom it may concern,It was with mixed emotions that I recently learned of the Ministry – wide restructuring plans within the revenue cycle departments. Although I believe the changes to be necessary given the financial challenges that the Ministry is facing, the prospect of possibly not being a part of MERCY Hospital in the future is worrisome. I had returned to MERCY Hospital early last year after several years away studying and working in other fields. During my time away from MERCY, It had become clear to me that several key factors were missing in my career and in my daily life. First, the strong values and camaraderie that were evident every day working at MERCY were largely absent in my other work. I had also come to miss the feeling of being in a position with the ability to help others.When I learned last year of the opening of my current position in the Emergency department, I was quick to act, and fortunate to receive an interview only a few days later. During my interview, I placed strong emphasis on the fact that I was coming to MERCY not for a job, but for a career. I had made my decision to be in healthcare after much careful consideration and having experienced other fields first-hand. And, as I start my Masters of Healthcare Administration program this September, I hope only to solidify myself in the field.Since I have been at MERCY Hospital, I have had a consistent record of excellent productivity, accuracy of work, and collections. I have also maintained outstanding attendance, not missing a single day of work for any reason, nor have I ever had any disciplinary counseling.I do feel that, given my education, and my background as a Firm Principal, and a Department Chief in the Marine Corps, I am not being utilized to my full potential in my current position. My leadership capabilities and love of mentoring others could certainly be put to use at MERCY Hospital, especially at this time of change where all employees need to be able to look towards strong leadership for guidance.I am able to transition into new roles with confidence, I realize that I will always have opportunities to learn and grow in any position, and I have never been shy to ask my peers, and leaders when I am unclear on a project. Along these lines, I never hesitate to “jump in” and help my peers whenever I can be of use.It is my sincere hope that you will consider me for a management role within the Ministry, as I love being a part of MERCY, have made that evident in my work, and hope to be with the ministry for many years to come.Thank you for your consideration,
Hi, I’m a Moderator for this topic and I wonder whether you’re still waiting for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will do my best to find a Professional to assist you right away. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!
Thank you for the opportunity to help. I am, however at a loss. This is not a resume, it is more the form of a letter of intent and a request for being considered for a position with more authority and responsibility. There are other way to approach the assumed intent of the letter, but I first need to know if you understand this response. Do you actually have a resume? You also speak of "ministry" - in what country and province are you located.
I look forward to helping, please try to clarify your intent.
Hello. I must apologize. I misworded my question. I should have said that this letter is a COVER LETTER that will be included with my resume. The person submitting this cover letter also has hired employees and he indicates that he personally gave special consideration to those applicants that took the time to write a well worded cover letter. To answer your question: This hospital is a Catholic hospital in the U.S.A. and all nun operated hospitals are referred to as Ministries. I thank you for your time in helping with this. I will accept after your next reply.
Thank you for clarification. Understanding that, My critique would be to try to make the letter a bit less critical and personal, i.e., "with mixed emotions" etc is not as important to the decision makers unless they specifically ask for that. Show them you are excited about the "positive" changes they are making and how important it is for you to be a part of those changes.
Hope this helps,
Sincerely XXXXX XXXXX
I have been self employed for 25 years and consult on-the-job conflict resolution as a ministry.
Hey John, thanks so much for your expert and constructive reply. I appreciate that. Len