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Ulysses101
Ulysses101, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 3446
Experience:  11 years experience in Canada family law, plus criminal, civil, and employment
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When I was in a full relationship with a man for a year who

Customer Question

When I was in a full relationship with a man for a year who claimed he had a sad marriage and wanted to separate from his wife to be with me, I had contacted his wife out of frustration for him not taking the appropriate steps to separate from her, to tell her everything that was going on, and now he has put a bogus restraining order against me and had went to the police....what can I do to counteract his actions? He's a 60yr old man and I'm a 23yr old woman....
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Canada Law
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 8 months ago.

Hello, thank you for the question.

I will get the obvious out of the way. You're 23 and he's 60? Do you see enough future in this relationship to remain involved in this messiness with his ex? You want to remain with this man when he has put a restraining order on you?

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I have fallen in love with him and stated how him and I could set up our future etc. This restraining order has resulted in me having to quit my job because my place of work was right beside his place of work.
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 8 months ago.

OK, so he clearly doesn't feel the same way.

I see this all the time. The older man hooks up with the younger woman and promises her the world, but then won't leave his wife because that would be an economic disaster for him. So the younger woman keeps waiting and waiting and waiting. Sad but true.

Is the restraining order from family court or criminal court? I assume the latter?

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I am pretty sure it was through a family court. He filed a report on me at his local police station. Then I got a call from an officer stating that he filed a restraining order. I was also getting ready to go to collage so that I could work for the same company based on my interest level...not because of him. So now I can't even do that because if this restraining order. I've lost too much weight because of the stress level and my health is now at risk.
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 8 months ago.

What have you got from the police or from him or his lawyer about a restraining order?

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Nothing but a phone call. No paperwork or anything else. I had checked the number to see where it came from and it was a police station.
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 8 months ago.

It strikes me that this was a "verbal warning". If there was a restraining order in the works, either in family court or in criminal court, you'd have gotten paperwork.

So here's my best recommendation: leave him alone, no texts or calls or emails or stalking, and forget about him. There's no order that you not be allowed to go to any areas, but the verbal warning is as a result of his complaints and it's meant to get you to back off.

You can work and go to college. Just give up any thought of having any contact with him.

Does that make sense?

Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 8 months ago.

I'm still here. Did my answer help you? Unless you've been served paperwork I think you'll be fine, as long as you stay away from him and have no contact.

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Thank you for your answer. It helps hearing it from someone other then family and friends.
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 8 months ago.

You're welcome. Never listen to family and friends, they are trying to be supportive but they don't know what they are talking about.

If there's nothing else, may I have a positive service rating please? Ratings are how I get credit from the site for helping its customers.

Good luck

Ulysses

Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 8 months ago.

The question thread is still open. Is there anything else about this that you want to discuss?

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