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Ulysses101
Ulysses101, Lawyer
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 3361
Experience:  11 years experience in Canada family law, plus criminal, civil, and employment
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I been in abused relationship with my my x hasband and I

Customer Question

I been in abused relationship with my my x hasband and I left with my two kids he is the father for one of them.i left but a war started between us . He made a lot of false allegations against me but the CAS found out through the investigations his lies. It been war for 9 months.after that me and him met and agreed to stop the war. And now I found my self pregnant. CAS knows that we are only friends they don't know that I'm pregnant. I'm lost I don't know what to do , I'm scared if they find out they will take my kids. And I don't want to make an apportion. I'm so scare can u plz help me
Submitted: 4 months ago.
Category: Canada Law
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
The CAS told me they have conserns if I went back to him. Now if they found out I'm pregnant with his child they will know that I lied when I said we are just friends.
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 4 months ago.

Hello, thank you for the question.

You're in Ontario, I assume?

Have you moved back in with your ex? What is your relationship now?

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
I'm in Ottawa . I didn't move back and I don't have the intention to move back
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
We are like a co parents.
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 4 months ago.

So you and he are co-parenting.

What does CAS want you to do?

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
They told me they have concerns because they they think he is dangerous to me but they know he is good with the kids . They know that we are friends only. They want to see if the friends thing will work between us. But I'm scared if they find out about my pregnancy.
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
They believe me and him are good perants but they think we can't be together and we don't want to be together but I'm pregnant now and I don't know what to do
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 4 months ago.

I can appreciate that this is a concern. They don't like him even though he's not obviously a protection concern to the children. As you told them, he's abusive and now you're back with him. And you're going to have another child of his.

If I were your lawyer, I'd tell you to tell the CAS that you're pregnant. You are going to have to tell them sooner or later.

Yes, you can tell them. Assure them that you were considering reconciling and resumed sexual relations but remind them that it's over now and you aren't going back to him. It's not ideal that they might conclude that you lied, but they won't apprehend the children just because of this. They will however decide that you need extra support and monitoring with another baby on his way, so you should do your best to not lie to them about anything else, be co-operative, ask for help if you need it, and show that your children are a priority ahead of any relationship with your ex.

As well, now is probably a good time to think about going to court. You say you're co-parenting. I haven't asked you, but I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks that you two are still together but just living apart temporarily until the CAS goes away.

If you're truly done with the guy, then you should go to court for an order for custody, access, and support. Ask CAS if they can help you with this. They won't help you, but you'll demonstrate to them that you're looking for help and that you intend to stay apart from him. Ask them what sort of an order they'd recommend, especially about access.

You might as well wait until after the baby is born until you go to court, since the baby isn't person until it is born. Meaning you can't claim custody until after the birth. If you're getting Ontario Works see if their Family Support Unit will help you with the paperwork. If they won't, the duty counsel or legal aid services at court will help you.

You said that he's not the father of your second child. Maybe you already have an order for custody/access with that father, maybe not. Now, going after that father for custody/support, that's a separate issue. For now you want to demonstrate to the CAS that you and your ex are over and that they don't need to take you to court for a protection order or to apprehend the children.

You should have a chat with your ex about this. He needs to know that you're pregnant and that you're not going back to him and that you have to take him to court for custody in order to get the CAS out of the picture.

If you want to reconcile, then your ex and you have to ask what you will need to do in order to satisfy the CAS that the children aren't in need of protection. They will want him to do a parenting program, probably some anger management counselling, and couples counselling too for you both.

I see that you asked for a phone call but I don't do those. This is a US based website and it's not a law firm.

That's a lot to read and digest, I know. Let me know when you have. I'll wait for your question or comment. If I've answered you then I"d appreciate a positive service rating please.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
I have Two other kids one with him and he is one year old when we where fighting we went to cort but after that we stopped everything.
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 4 months ago.

I understand. You can decide later what to do about your other ex, but for now you have to keep the CAS satisfied that you're acting protectively about the children.

Does that make sense? Anything else on your mind?

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
No thank you that's all
Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 4 months ago.

You're welcome. I'm glad to help.

May I please have that service rating now please? Ratings are how I get credit from the site.

Good luck

Ulysses

Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 4 months ago.

Wait, you said you "went to court" when you were fighting. Are you talking about the ex about whom the CAS has concerns, and you're pregnant with his baby now? I thought you meant the father of your other child. Which did you mean?

Expert:  Ulysses101 replied 3 months ago.

I'm still here if there's more to discuss. I thought we were finished, but you haven't rated yet and the thread is still open. Then I asked if the ex we had discussed is the right one, because that might change the answer.

Is there more to talk about?

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