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Tom B.
Tom B., Barrister & Solicitor
Category: Canada Law
Satisfied Customers: 2263
Experience:  25 years in practice
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I live in Calgary Alberta. I have been in a relationship

Customer Question

I live in Calgary Alberta. I have been in a relationship with a girl for approximately 2 years. For the first 8 moths just a friendship, then a relationship. It has been a very toxic relationship. She is a bad bad alcoholic and when she goes on a bender she has been verbally and in the worst way abusive. She has been arrested by police and charged by a girl i had never even met for harassment and uttering threats for adding my friendship on face book. approx 6 months ago i had a roomate and close friend die of an overdose. She called the police during a bender and told them i killed him. She called my Ex-girlfriend and told her i sexually abused her daughters while she was watching and threatened her legally about 4 months ago. She has continuously harrassed her so much that she has now been put under certificate for a suicide attempt. She has a restraining order against my ex that is she contacts her again she will be arrested.
Several months ago she attcked me when drunk and punched me in the face causing my nose to bleed. she continuously tried to beat me the whole time i was getting my things. I drove to the first stop possible which was a Tim hortons and called the police knowing full well she will do or say anything when drunk and i didnt touch her next to pushing her off of me. I did not want to press charges. At that point i find out she an escort and thats what she does. We had been together for like 8 months while she was doing this behind my back. I dont know why but i stayed with her. her benders got less frequent and i thought things were changing.but i was throwing in the towel more often and more frequently now getting myself up to having the strength to call it quits. People dont understand cause im the guy on hom manipulative she is and how damaging, and stressful she is. When she is angry upset she will leave over 100 text messages in less than 12 hours saying everything and anything to cut me down.
All this came to what happened 30Nov. I was having minimal contact with her and was having issues with my car that had me go stay at her place to spend the night so i didnt have to drive my car far and i was close to work. I went to sleep on the couch which she didn’t like, and she got my phone after i fell asleep and began going through everything. She found some messages to and from my ex whom has tried to kill herself because of her harassment. The girl that had her charged for threatning her and her young daughter had a conversation she found. And a girl whom we both met and where I met her in mental health and drug abuse treatment center had a conversation there too. So at approx.. 3am Audra attacked me sleeping and jumped on me long story short I hit her with a thermos cup when I tried to leave and now she has an assault charge on me for beating her up with my bare fist. She says she was not drunk but I say that’s crap cause ive seen it every night im with her for the past 2 years. This all isn’t even why I am contacting you but I think you need to hear it before I ask my point. And I want to be upfront that I do have a drug addiction but when and where I have done it Audra does not know and she loves to minimize her own skeletons and of course everyone believes the soft spoken girl and not the drug addicted abusive boyfriend she has made everyone believe.
So about 3days after this assault happened she was threatening me with going to the police if I did not talk to her. She was worried I was going to call her probation officer and let her know she was an escort. It wasn’t a threat. It was the only thing I knew to say to her that she might back off and let me live without trying to destroy me and what little character I have left. I told her clearly and slowly that if she f’d with my life, then and only then I would f with hers. That night she while she was intoxicated she began messaging my ex girlfriend talking shit. That mornirg when I found out I called her probation officer and let her know my voicemail what she is doing for money.
But even before that happened Audra had callled police which to me she claims was covering her ass to them she says was a brutal horrific traumatic assault. I was in the US Army 7 years and get out with an honorable discharge. My father was a City police officer until retirement. I know not to strike a women these insane things she does to me are a result of me trying to get away from her.So I was arrested without incident in front of my home last week. Spent the night in jail and released on 2500. Of my own recog. No contact order and no going 250m from her place. I go work the day on little sleep. Guess who called that night apologizing? Yes my Ex And since she called me I thought I didn’t initiate the contact. She promised me she didn’t do it that the police coerced her into it. But I was looking on the internet and it looks like I am SOL cause its out of her hands. But here is where I need help. I also began to read that it doesn’t
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Canada Law
Expert:  Law Maven replied 11 months ago.

Hello – my name is***** am a Canadian lawyer, and I’ll be happy to help with your question today -- unfortunately, though, it looks like your actual question got cut off. Are you looking for help in dealing with assault charges, or with your separation from your ex, or is there another issue you'd like to let us know about?

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