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I am sorry for your loss.
What province is this please?
In BC you are entitled to share in the pension that was acquired during your marriage.
For this reason your next step should be to consult with a local lawyer who can assert your claim to the pension administrator at once.
You should not delay in doing this because you don't want the pension to be given out. In fact, if you are not able to see a lawyer at once you should put the pension administrator on notice that you will be making a claim and that way they will hold the funds for now.
So long as it increased in value during the course of your marriage you'll be entitled to it portion of it.
That is unfortunate. I had thought that he had acquired some of that pension during your relationship.
I still think you should consult with a lawyer Face to face because as a legal wife you still may be able to make a claim.
You are very welcome. I hope it works out.