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I am a single mother with a 5-year-old son. My ex and I have

 
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Customer Question

I am a single mother with a 5-year-old son. My ex and I have never been married. My son's biological father has never given me financial support, with the exception of me forcing him to pay half of my son's preschool fees for one season. Besides that, I have not received any regular child support payments from him for these past five years. It has been extremely difficult getting my ex to make an initiative with financial support and seeing my son. My ex does not see my son at all and makes no initiative to see him. Also, my ex's name appears on my son's birth certificate. I have started a new relationship and we have been together for more than a year. My current partner has voiced his intentions to adopt my son in the future and move us to another province to live with him. Now, my question is how does the step-father-adoption process work and what do I need to consider with wanting to move with my son to another province?

 

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Province/Territory relating to question: British Columbia

Already Tried:
Speaking to a lawyer about custody and access regarding the biological father.

Submitted: 284 days and 15 hours ago.
Category: Canada Law
Value: CA$69
Status: CLOSED

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Expert:  Tom Law replied 284 days and 15 hours ago.


Tom Law :

Hello.

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : Hi Tom
Tom Law :

Adoption is a concept that is often misunderstood. It needs the consent of the father at this stage and is not necessary in most cases.

Tom Law :

Your present partner becomes a "parent" just by being one for two years.

Tom Law :

Adoption, even if it is possible, just relieves your ex of all responsibility which is not in the best interests of your child at this point. Sad that he pays no attention but he still has to pay child support to you based upon his income regardless.

Tom Law :

Have you made a child support application?

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : No I haven't. My ex is very difficult to deal with to the point where he dodges me or makes up excuses about how he cannot support my son. I have managed to raise and financially support my son by myself during these years. I have asked my ex many times in the past to support his son so he can make some initiative; however, it has become more of a irritable process that I just don't want to deal with him anymore. I want to move on with my son
JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : In addition, I strongly feel my ex's behaviours and lifestyle are not conducive to a healthy parent-child relationship. My ex has a criminal record and I fear my son's development will steer in the opposite direction I am currently raising my son in
JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : If my ex were to gain regular access to my son
JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : *
Tom Law :

Back in a moment.

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : I understand all decisions are based upon the best interests of the child. I just want to provide my son with a positive future. I want my son to know his biological father; however, I am very concerned about the way he behaves around my son. He has never taken care of my son alone. I am more fearful of negative impacts on my son
JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : Okay
Tom Law :

The concepts conflict. If your new partner adopts (which I do not think possible), then Dad is out and forever. I am extremely worried that this man wants to adopt and you are not married.

Tom Law :

But, we for now need to get a child support order so the father pays.

Tom Law :

One day, he might grow up. For now, a monthly payment is best. Child support is not your money. It is the child's money. A parent has no right to bargain away that child's money.

Tom Law :

You should apply for support. It is not a difficult thing to do.

Tom Law :

I will help. But adoption is not a great idea at this time.

Tom Law :

What would you like to advise you on?

Tom Law :

Tom

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : My partner would like to marry me and once we are legally married, he would like to adopt my son
Tom Law :

But, he does not have to and he cannot without the agreement of the biological father.

Tom Law :

He is DAD in every legal way especially if you get married.

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : If my ex does pay for support, I do not want him to be around my son. My son can choose to see his biological father when he grows older but I do not want my son around him
Tom Law :

Get support is my opinion. Why do you not?

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : I will attempt to apply for child support. My concern is access and custody of the biological father
Tom Law :

He has proven no interest. There is no link between paying and access. Paying is a clear responsibility. It does not buy access.

Tom Law :

Access is about the relationship and the ability to be a positive influence on the child. They are completely separate. If he never sees the child, he still must pay for what he brought into the world.

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : I understand. I had a misunderstanding about the relationship between access and child support
JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : I will apply for child support.
Tom Law :

There is no relationship. He cannot buy access. He must prove worthy. The child on the other hand has a right to be supported.

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : Understood
JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : With regards XX XX partner wanting to be a step-father and my consideration to move to another province (BC to Alberta), what are several processes I need to take into consideration?
Tom Law :

On your facts, probably not much. Without any interest in the child, the natural father would have no hope to stop movement to Alberta. But, he still has to pay support and you will get an order easy and then pass it off to Family Maintenance Enforcement and they will collect no matter where you are in Canada.

Tom Law :

All you have to do is go to a Provincial Court Registry and ask for child support. They will not give legal advice but will help you fill out the forms. You get a support order without a lawyer needed and the give the order to FMEP and move.

Tom Law :

It is really clear cut. He pays first. That is your child's right.

Tom Law :

He becomes a step father by becoming one. If married, your child becomes a child of the marriage.

Tom Law :

He is Dad by sticking around for two years or by marriage.

Tom Law :

If you never get married and he sticks around and then you break up, you child is entitled to support from both.

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : Be back in a moment, Tom
JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : That is good news
Tom Law :

I think I have answered all. Do you need more info or can I retire?

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : I have one last question for you. If I were to move my son to Alberta, I would need to get his passport. Would I need the biological father to fill out the application as well?
Tom Law :

You do not need a passport to move between BC and Alberta.

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : What about picture ID needed at the airport?
JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : I am unaware of the process for children travelling in Canada
Tom Law :

If you need a Passport to travel outside of Canada, there are methods of getting one when the person on the birth certificate is not involved in the child's life. As between provinces, no ID is required for a 5 year old.

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : Thank you for your assistance, Tom. You have really given me the peace of mind I needed during this time
Tom Law :

Just protect yourself and never believe everything you hear from anyone. I am a great fan of the phrase "If you love me...put it in writing" :)

JACUSTOMER-mc8pbvrn- : Haha well said! I will carry that with me on this journey :)
Tom Law :

Good on ya mate.

Tom Law :

Please look for me again if you wish and consider accepting my answer for my time with you.

Tom Law :

I hope the best for you and your child and your new partner. I even hope Dad wakes up.

Tom Law :

Tom

Expert TypeLawyer
Category: Canada Law
Pos. Feedback: 98.0 %
Accepts: 1786
Answered: 6/29/2012

Experience: Called to the Bar of British Columbia in 1991

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