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I need some advice regarding no contact orders, pre trial -

 
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I need some advice regarding no contact order, pre trial etc. - all related to domestic violence in Ontario. I have already had a meeting with the crown and voiced my "wish list", my husband has his pretrial this upcoming Tuesday. We have a child together and have been separated since March, with the no contact order in place. It is making life extremely difficult as we are no longer a family and everything in regards XXXXX XXXXX child has to be arranged through another party. The only correspondance we have regarding our child is through the family wizard site which neither of us are signing up for.

Submitted: 285 days and 12 hours ago.
Category: Canada Law
Value: CA$32
Status: CLOSED

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Expert:  Law.Hut replied 285 days and 11 hours ago.

Hello:

You have option to try to convince the Crown to agree to change the non-contact conditions, or your spouse can apply to the judge in court to do so and you can speak in court to the judge as to why you want those removed. It would be best to explain the family situation such as having children, to confirm there has been no violation of the non contact terms to date, and that there is no fear regarding the other spouse, and that the desire to remove those conditions has not been pressured or been influenced at all by the other spouse. If the court believes this is a voluntary choice and there is no risk or threat to you or children, it can agree to modify the conditions even if the Crown does not consent.

Please let me know if there is some further specific point about this that you want me to address.

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Customer replied 285 days and 9 hours ago.

I had a meeting with the Crown about two weeks ago, the Crown said she was not going to lift the no-contact order at all, nor was she going to drop any of the charges.


There was breach of bail where we started to correspond mainly to talk about our family and also to keep in touch about our daughter as she is punted back and forth while this mess is in place. However, his lawyer found out about the breach and went to the Crown about it.
I was then advised by the Crown at this meeting to go to the police and make a statement about the breach, because his lawyer was making it seem like I was harassing my husband, however I did not do this because I was told he would most definitely be arrested and be put in jail again, on top of an additional charge and even more headache.
The Crown is not budging. The Crown wants him to show a plea of guilt to some of the charges because ownership is key in her eyes. I voiced how frustrating and hard this was as a mother, she seemed to empathize but told me that she was not budging in removing the no contact order. I also told the Crown I do not wish for him to go to jail or have a criminal record because this would tarnish our families life potential fort the future. Again, I had my spiel, I gave her my wish list, I'm not sure what more I can do.
I honestly feel helpless, this is destroying my family even more. It is creating drifts between the in laws, hostility, blame and to be put simply immense negativity between EVERYONE. Not to mention we are missing out on raising our first born together as a family.
The Crown could see I wanted contact and I wanted to work towards reconciliation and that there is NO fear, because we both want to go for EFT counselling together. She is aware of everything I have mentioned about drifting further apart. She wants him to take a plea of guilt, however there is still going to be a no contact order in place for 1-2 years because apparently they take domestic violence very seriously and are accustom to victims recanting their statements, so now we have no voice. Our lives are literally in the hands of this system who cares NOT for the well-being of the family. Instead I feel like we are being used as pawns in this big game the prosecutor and his attorney are battling out. It is SO frustrating, my husband went and told his lawyer he wanted to take a plea of guilt and now she is 'strongly advising him from a legal standpoint' to not do that because it will ruin his life forever.
How can I move this matter past the Crown if the Crown is simply not willing to budge? I do not want to make matter worse, by crossing the Crown and going to the judge. There is NO need for a conviction there is NO need for this no contact order, we realize our wrongs and want to work together as a unit to fix what we have broken however we CANNOT do anything.
Am I allowed to attend the pretrial happening this Tuesday? What is a pretrial? If so, what would I say, how could I persuade the Crown/judge even more.
His lawyer believes this will be going to trial and will take 1-2 years to resolve.

Accepted Answer

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Expert:  Law.Hut replied 285 days and 7 hours ago.

If the crown will not budge then the only option is to a judge. You should certainly contact your husband's lawyer to make sure she knows your views. If there is any guilty plea it will be up to a judge to determine non contact. The judge may in turn assign the matter to a probation officer to determine when contact would be appropriate. You can attend at the pre trial conference, although the exact procedure is up to the judge. Normally all aspects of a criminal charge are open to the public, but that does not mean a judge will allow you to speak. My experience is that prior to a trial, the. Procedure in criminal court is usually more informal and a judge will hear from a victim if you wish to speak up. Making it clear to the judge. That you are not at all interested in the non contact is the only option you have left. The judge can insist on this, but may see no real point to doing so, and may. In fact see this as negative given that the two of you have a child together. You could suggest that at the least some contact be allowed, such as only as necessary for parenting, or by phone only to discuss parenting matters, or as needed only to exchange your child or so on. If you are willing to attend counselling or know from your husband's lawyer that. He is prepared to do so, that can assist.Basically you want to try to tell the judge that there is no problem, but you realize that the courts treat this seriously and so you will take steps such as counselling or partial contact to make sure any concerns are recognized and that your husband is not offside the law in any way. So many couples just do not bother to try to correct these terms and just ignore them and have contact anyway, so hopefully a judge is impressed that you are trying mightily to change the legal terms and avoid any further breach.Law.Hut41084.8375788542

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Customer replied 285 days and 6 hours ago.

Hi,


Sorry I was unclear with some of what you wrote. To clarify,


I am allowed to contact my husbands lawyer?

This will not be any type of violation that will negatively impact us or him? i.e. the Crown will not be angered by this?


There is definitely need for counselling and we both can attest to that. We both recognize it and are both willing to attend when possible.


What can my husband do on his end, in regards XXXXX XXXXX he asks his lawyer to do?


I believe he may also be attending the pretrial. I will most definitely make the trip to his city if it means it will help in any way, shape or form.


I was even in touch with Victims Witness, who keep trying to tell me to not get pulled back into his cycle of abuse. What is frustrating about this is that we are both volatile, it wasn't just one sided. I added fuel to the fire, physical abuse is of course never warranted, however if we both recognize we were in an unhealthy place and want to make amends, the judge will opt for this?


My husband has 12 charges against him, prehistoric from 2009-2012. They keep saying its serious, a very serious matter, it will not be dropped etc. However the Crown doesn't even know anything from MY mouth directly. She only knows what she knows from the police report.

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Expert:  Law.Hut replied 285 days and 6 hours ago.

You can definitely contact your husband's lawyer and that will not violate his release conditions. This is legal, common, and entirely expected.Your husband can ask the lawyer to use your cooperation to try and convince the court there is no need for a restraining order or non contact conditions. You can be candid that you think you are somewhat to blame for the situation and so you want to take steps also to avoid the problem, such as counselling, or an anger management session. If there is a history of prior charges, the matter is going to be treated differently than otherwise. That is just the reality you have to work with. But the crown only has the police reports and if you want to give a more accurate or forced statement you will have to usually contact the police to do that. Even then, the crown can elect to proceed with charges if they think they can prove the charge even though you give some new information. Has there been an exception In the current order to use the family wizard site? If so, why have you not tried that? It is not at all the same as face to face, but if this is permitted it can help to communicate to a degree, plus also shows the court that you will try to work with what you have to make any non- contact term that allows parenting contact only succeed.Law.Hut41084.8516939815

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Customer replied 285 days and 6 hours ago.

There has never been prior charges. When the police took my statement they asked me to begin at the very start of our relationship. They then took this information and charged him with 12 counts.

Who do I be candid with? The Crown does not seem to care, I have yet to be able to speak to a judge, I will attempt to contact his lawyer tomorrow. When I contact his lawyer, I simply state to her my positioning with this matter?
Yes the Crown signed off for the Family Wizard to be used, the reason we haven't signed up is because you need to pay $100 EACH to use the site. It is not also just to allow communication between us, it is for our daughter to see her parents together...she has not seen us together since March. It is devastating.
Do I have to inform the Crown or anyone for that matter if I choose to show up at the pretrial on Tuesday?
Will this show the judge that there is no fear or intimidation on my end by my husband?
The Crown feels like she is protecting me from a serial killer, however my husband is far from a mentally deranged human being. We both have our issues that contributed to our unhealthy state of relationship. It is 50/50 and I need for him to not be convicted and this order to be lifted.
Also, with what I have told you..what do you believe are the outcomes that are possible with this scenario?
Are we looking at a possibility of no contact for over a year?
As well, the outcome for his pending charges...does it seem like it will be headed to a trial with a conviction looming in the future?
He has a clean record, never been charged, never had a report filed on him. He has character references, and is a business owner of a well known establishment of the town.
What are your thoughts/insights to this matter in regards XXXXX XXXXX outlook?
Is travel allowed at all during a time like this, or does this matter have to end for travel to be allowed? for him

Accepted Answer

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Expert:  Law.Hut replied 285 days and 6 hours ago.

Candid with the other lawyer for your husband and the judge.

You do not have to advise anyone in advance that you will be attending court. Your being present allows the court to judge for itself if your appear to making this choice voluntarily and that it is well thought out on your part.

He is free to travel as he sees fit unless this is specifically not allowed by a release condition.

I cannot offer you an opinion on the outcome, both as I would be in the dark without knowing much more detail such as reviewing all the disclosure, but we are also prohibited from giving opinions through this site.

If you have no further questions, please remember to rate any of the above replies. I do not receive any credit from the site if you choose the two lowest ratings.

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Customer replied 282 days and 22 hours ago.

The Crown twisted what I said and is making it seem like I am 100% innocent and that my husband is a perpetual abuser. The Crown completely dismissed what I said and is now taking it to trial.

I have asked another question, if you could please take a look. I will never turn to 'the system' for any type of help or guidance in the future. It is simply a game to use citizens as pawns in their political game.

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Expert:  Law.Hut replied 282 days and 22 hours ago.

I will check the new post.

 
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