Hostile environment: Sexual and other harassment
I have worked for the same employer for 10 years. My hiring supervisor retired in 2010, and a coworker was hired to replace her. I also wanted to apply for the position because I had made significant changes in our business processes, saved money, and was considered an exemplary employee. However, there was an "unspoken rule" that she was already chosen no matter who applied. Ultimately no one else applied for the job due to that "unspoken rule". Since her promotion and assignment as my supervisor, my workplace has become increasingly hostile.
My new supervisor's husband is a manager/lead in the same department, and has come up behind me in my workspace numerous times since she was hired, put his hands on my shoulders to "massage" me and engage in other non-work related and inappropriate chatter. I was sexually abused as a child and freeze when something like this happens. In this case I am especially fearful of saying anything for obvious reasons.
There was another employee in 2009 who made so many inappropriate gestures and comments I finally broke down in tears and reported it. Others had reported him as well, yet nothing has changed other than a reprimand to the offender. This situation has improved for me, but is always borderline and this man continues to test his limits with others.
My current supervisor has become increasingly "nitpicky" and calls me out for minor things like forgetting attachments, being 2 minutes late - as well as business practices my counterpart at our other location also performs routinely, yet has never been written up for.
On 7/4 shortly after my arrival I saw an e-mail from her that was CC'ed to another coworker, in which she caustically chastised me. I was so angry I told her I needed to leave and I did.
Admittedly I reacted impulsively and inappropriately, despite my anger and frustration at being called out in front a coworker for something my counterpart at our other location does routinely without incident. When I returned to work on my next scheduled work day (7/10)I took it upon myself to ask for my supervisor's time to apologize and take responsibility. She wouldn't let it go and kept telling me how immature and unprofessional it was, and that I abandoned my job. I agreed repeatedly that it was inappropriate, and repeatedly told her it would never happen again.
Today (7/15 at 3:30 p.m.) I was given a written warning, bypassing the initial verbal warning despite the fact this is my first infraction in 10 years and I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX her to apologize and take responsibility. When I asked why she chose to do this, I was told it is her choice as a manager. Okay, I agreed to take my lumps.
I have been an exemplary employee, have received awards and recognition even outside my organization, and truly loved my job. It is only since this person became my supervisor that I have felt I can't do anything right, have no recourse against her or her philandering husband, and am targeted for things that others aren't and previously had no effect on my performance.
Initially I spent sleepless nights blaming myself, thinking I must getting 'old', menopausal, worthless. I sought psychiatric help and was diagnosed with ADHD. I currently have FMLA status as a result. Her son has ADHD so I divulged this condition last year. She has increasingly criticized my every move since then. I thought there might be some level of understanding but it has only gotten worse.
Since turning 50 and disclosing ADHD to her, my life has been turned upside-down. There are many more egregious things I could list here, but there aren't enough words.
The reputation I've built over the last 10 years is being systematically tarnished. I have been waiting for another job opportunity within the same organization, but now I don't know if it's even possible to transfer to another department. I feel trapped and threatened.