I realize that this is all incomprehensible. But, it happens every day in every family court room everywhere in the USA. I have observed and had to deal with the same issue dozens of times, myself.
Clients are always outraged. Many lawyers use the client's outrage to generate more billing -- the attorney tells the client how they will "get" the other side for its lies, etc., the pleadings get padded with all sorts of unnecessary BS, and the lawyers argue it all out in court.
In the end, the lawyers win more money in fees, and then when the judge doesn't rule any differently than he/she would have ruled had none this stuff been brought up at all, the lawyers blame the judge for being an idiot.
It's all a big "song and dance." I tell clients this as a routine, I explain that I refuse to write useless pleadings with unnecessary verbiage or argue about things that will go nowhere in the courtroom.
And, then I win -- because the judge doesn't want to hear any of it either, and he/she doesn't believe any of it to begin with.
Everyone lies -- so, you have to get used to it, because that's just how the game is played. Pick out the lies that are material, because they actually affect how the judge will ultimately rule, marshal your evidence so that you can prove those lies false, and ignore the rest of the crap, because all it does is get you so worked up about the minutia, that you forget about the important things and then you will lose those points, because your case won't be solid where it counts.
That's precisely what opposing counsel is counting on. He/she wants to get you emotionally worked up, because you won't be able to think straight, which means your entire case will be weakened -- maybe even destroyed.
Remember this: Opposing counsel doesn't care about you or your spouse -- it's just an act -- a performance intended to extract the maximum amount of attorney's fees possible. If you can tell yourself that this entire matter is "just business
-- not personal," so that you are not emotional about the issues, then you will be able to deal with the issues that matter, and you will be prepared -- and that is the one thing that opposing counsel will not
I realize that this is all counterintuitive -- and, to be frank, as I have told hundreds of others the same thing in the past -- most refuse to believe me, and they cannot control there emotions -- and as a result, when an important hearing or the trial comes up -- they lose, because they are not in the right mental frame to be able to present and defend there case.
This is why people hire lawyers to represent them. Even I have hired lawyers to represent me, when I have thought that I was too emotional about a particular matter.
You are concentrating on the wrong thing -- forget about the lies, unless they are material to the other parent's claim. And, if they are material, then calmly set about gathering the evidence to demonstrate that the claims are false.
If you do that, then you will win. Otherwise, you will lose.
Hope this helps.