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It is part of a retirement community where I believe the unit is rented with maintenance fees monthly. He daughter handles all her bills and our paychecks. The lady has short term memory loss and is coherent but only in the moment...like 5 minutes after she's had a meal, she will ask if it's time to eat. I have talked to her about this a couple of times and she did not express any conflict with my point of view...she just won't recall it without any prompting.
None of us ladies live there...we are more like rotating room mates and most of us have to drive at least 20 miles one way to get to work. The lady doesn't walk much and cannot use the toilet on her own, needs repositioning during the night and has nights when she calls for one of us often. In other words, we can't just pop over to help her and she needs someone there to prevent falls.
It is necessary for us to use her place as our "home" while we are there and we naturally are happy for any family or friends to visit...but I don't think our job description includes unwanted and unexpected time spent putting up with a family member who should only be around to visit with her. I didn't consider this to be a family issue since we are there in a professional capacity and we deserve some respect.
Her sons are somewhat clueless about the right way to care for her needs & what they actually are as demonstrated by their behavior. The one son from out of town wants to come and go as he pleases and as I said, he doesn't let us know his plans when it comes to his mother most of the time.
I did this inquiry rather late and went to bed. I still don't see a response to my additional information as of yet.
That's what I figured. I feel like I am in a somewhat different situation and one of the ladies who is technically my supervisor I feel has been a bit too casual about it and I am looking for legal avenues in which to set some boundaries.
I think from what you replied that there is something you may be unclear about. First off, the son is letting himself in when his mother is not available for a visit. Of course the children are free to visit her but we have to allow her to sleep as long as she wants and put her to bed when she asks us to if it is earlier than her usual time.
I also know that he's had the keys from back when his mother was competent and he was able to stay with her. The situation is different now.
I'm not out to control who visits her, I just think I should have control over who is intruding on my peace of mind.
It sounds like you are telling me that some guy can just walk in on any of us and hang around when he is not someone we wish to see.
I consider the use of the room as part of our arrangement, as if we are "paying" to stay there as the client is covering any extra expenses we incur like for more utilities.
We had established that he can no longer stay with her when he visits since we are there and it is inappropriate to share the place as there is no room...3 of us are married and 2 of the ladies are Mennonites.
When she is in bed, we ladies keep a baby monitor on and I leave the bedroom and the bathroom door open and if the house is locked up, I feel I should not have to worry about someone walking in on me. The bathroom door is directly across from the garage entry which he has been know to use. I've had times when I had to throw a towel around myself to go see what she needs as I don't even want to come to her without some dignity for myself.
I was never under any kind of official contract...I just started working for her and was asked for my SSN for the end of the year 1099. I've been with her 1st P/T then F/T for almost 3 1/2 years and all of us ladies have provided her with top notch care.
If he's not doing anything technically "illegal", it is sure bad behavior that creates bad morale. I'm sure that even if he doesn't have a key, he's think it is ok to just barge in once the door is opened.
Has anything changed in your eyes by anything I've written?
Hi...I really needed to get an outside opinion about this matter. I don't like it but that is not your fault! You have done a good job overall and I need to go run some errands and go to the bank before closing this out completely.
The bedroom is "ok" to stay in for a while but not set up for things like TV viewing or having a snack, which should be done at the table. The baby monitor is not very loud and it was bought by someone else and is adequate as long as there isn't much background noise. If I need or want to use my computer or watch TV or read, the living room area gives me a place to do so without having to sit or lay in a way that is hard on my back. I don't want to have to have some near stranger in the same room. I don't consider being alone with a family member I neither like or respect as part of the job description.
The lady is rich, the son has a brother and sister nearby who have room for him, he has a house of his own on a lake @1/2 hrs drive away and there are other places for him to stay that his mom could easily afford if he cannot. It is not necessary for him to come there. He has choices and he has been talked to about some things with a lot of it not sinking in.
I get what you are saying and if I am wrong in any way, I'd like to know from a neutral party.
No need for a reply...I just wanted you to know that I understood what you told me and that it was enough as far as what I needed to find out. Have a nice evening and thanks for your help.
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