The best information I can give you is that debt consolidation is typically a contractual "savings plan" in which you make specific payments to a third party, who saves those funds, minus their fees, until they have enough to make a lump sum payment to one or more creditors. Your creditors are under no obligation to agree with the third party's proposal and can pursue you despite your participation in such a program.
Bankruptcy on the other hand, requires participation of all of your creditors. While bankruptcy is often viewed as a negative, what many don't realize is that bankruptcy can be a financial tool used to help people take control of their financial situations, rather than continuing to deal with the situation they find themselves in by the creditor's rules, or in your case, your husband's rules.
Either situation will likely have a negative effect on your credit score, but with bankruptcy you retain control of your situation (as in, you can't be sued by your creditors for failing to pay the debt). Also, bankruptcy allows you to maintain health and auto insurance and reasonable auto payments.
While you may have some exposure (i.e. have to turn over) with your personal injury proceeds, at $10,000 for settlement, bankruptcy planning can reduce if not eliminate that exposure. Additionally, the same thing applies to your tax refund. Some courts will allow you to pro-rate the refund over the course of the year if its necessary for your health, safety, and welfare or that of your dependents.
In any event, it sounds like you really need some personalized advice as your situation seems to have multiple variables that warrant further discussion. I strongly, very strongly, advise you to seek the advice of an experienced bankruptcy attorney in your area. I think you will feel much better once you have personalized legal advice.
I also encourage you to seek the advice of a family law attorney to insure that your rights are protected and to see if you should be receiving contributions for the auto and health expenses - today.
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Best of luck to you! Please let me know if I can be of further assistance or if you need clarification.