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Ask Deborah Awyzio Your Own Question
Deborah Awyzio
Deborah Awyzio, Solicitor
Category: Australia Law
Satisfied Customers: 863
Experience:  Bachelor of Laws (QUT), BIT (QUT), Family Law Accredited Specialist, over 12 years experience
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I have been in an on/off relationship with my partner 4.5

Customer Question

Hello
I have been in an on/off relationship with my partner for over 4.5 years after (approximately) 1.5 years into it we decided to move in together, we lived together at my place, in a townhouse in Warriewood for a year, as he rented his big property in Ingleside, ( he also has a holiday home in Nabiac and a rental property up the coast) , but he never had money to afford much so I was in the majority of times paying for everything.
But soon after leaving together I realised he was very greedy and tight with his money and would never have any to spend on us- I also caught him on a website called cougar. com ( I was devastated and confronted him then we broke up- yet again- but after a couple of months we got back together, he seem to have a power over me and I can't seem to have the strength to say NO to him (which I am seeing a councillor to that effect as we speak)
However we rented a little place together by the lake in Narrabeen for about 6 months, as I decided to rent my placed out coz Chris wasn't helping with the mortgage so I thought this time we must share all expenses and this was the way out of that silly situation, I thought.
Needless to say that that alone put a huge amount of stress in our relationship, as I was also paying for food, while we were living at my place he had a work accident and couldn't work for 6 months.(he had no insurance)
We separated for about 7 months, after sharing that little place for 6 months as he was very abusive (verbally and emotional not supportive at all) I left and moved to Seaforth where I rented a place on my own, in April this year he contacted me back as he was having a "tumor" removed from his brain and he and his doctor thought that that would explain his bad behaviour to make a long story short he asked me to move in with him to what I replied NO unless we make it official I thought that if we get married things would change, ahhh he promised we would so I moved in with him when my lease was up in June we got back together and we have been living together at his place since.
The house in situated in a 5 acres block of land and we dived the back of the house in two
as I do work from home I thought having the office here would make sense and so I wrote a lease and paid him 10 weeks in advance, he never signed the agreement.
We went on holidays in September and all the expenses except the air fare were on me as his credit card was full according to him, so half of the expenses he still owes me a total of $2000 on our return home he asked me to pay his medical bills $1750, and the electricy account prior me moving that he stilled owed $780 which I did coz I thought we were an item. I have been paying for our weekly grocery, and cooking for us without asking him for his share, as he normally pays for Sunday breakfast.
Then 2 months ago he started complaining about my cooking the kitchen and OH the bench, but in a ridicules way as you can't really have everything impecable until you actually finis dining it got so bad that I decided not to cook anymore, but still fill the fridge with food so he would have something when he got back from work, until he started getting very upset with just about anything - so I decided not only not to cook any more but also not to buy any more food for him it has been almost 7 weeks and our relationship has gone from bad to worst - I confronted him as to what he expected to get from me every time he came back and asked me to get back together - when I asked him if it was my money he had no answer - then I realised that all this time I have been taken for a huge ride and I was totally oblivious to it until this morning when, looking for the lease agreement I asked him to sign months ago I came across a reminder noticed from his solicitors asking him to pay for the BFA document drafted on the 21 July 2015-
I need to know what are my rights pls -
I have moved to the other side of the house coz I refuse to leave, until we sort all this out
not only financially but emotionally as he is driving me to the point of madness.
He is a very revengeful person (he has this vendetta against our next door neighbour for over 25 years and the things I see he has done to the poor old man are truly sad) He keeps telling me it has nothing to do with me.
And so after I have seen him doing all these things and the way he treated me after every break up I fill a tad safer living closer so at least I know where he is and what is he up to.
At the moment we have spent 1 week in silence -
I really don't know what to do or even how to do it
Could you pls guide me as what should I do next
Kind Regards
MP
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Australia Law
Expert:  Leon replied 1 year ago.

Good Morning

My name is ***** ***** I am a NSW Solicitor. Thank you for your question, and will do my best to assist you with your question. Please understand this is not legal advise Please understand this is not legal advise but a guide to assist you.

I am sorry to hear about him cheating on you but the law does not take that into consideration in property splitting matters.

Are you asking about a property split?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Leon and thank you for your prompt reply
However I never said he was cheating on me I only mentioned the web site he seems to onto as I think is relevant to prove a point (with his money issues) and his ability or predisposition to take advantage of others.
I guess my answer to your question is the properties Yes I would like to know what is it I am entitle of
We have a 5 acres at Ingleside (for sale at the moment) this is the property he inherited when both his parents passed away
20 Acres in Nabiac an country place we only use it for holiday purpose and we have 8 cows there
and an investment property in OldBar also on the market
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Although he works well and has all these extra income as I mentioned since we first met I was the one paying for almost everything, specially when we moved in together.
Expert:  Leon replied 1 year ago.

Good Morning,

My apology for making assumptions I should not have made.

In relation to the property split the law will apply the following 4 steps and they apply to all assets and laibilities in joint and individual names.

Step 1: Determine what the assets are and their value

This will include all assets and their value as at the day that you are dividing them. It does not matter whose name the assets are in, they will form part of the matrimonial pool. Superannuation entitlements are also included.

Step 2: Determine what contributions you and your Husband made towards the assets.

This includes a consideration of both financial and non-financial contributions. Consideration is given to what assets each of you brought into the marriage as well. The weight given to your initial contribution will be dependent upon the length of your relationship. The longer the relationship the less weight given to the initial contribution.

Step 3: What are each of your future needs.

Consideration is given to your respective ages, your comparitive income earning capacity as well as other factors.

IF these things don't balance equally for each spouse, then an adjustment is made in the percentages.

Step 4: Make an order that is just and equitable between both spouses

Your contributions were higher and if he was wasting assets this should get you a greater share.